Love Finds David Gordon
by christylee
Summary: COMPLETED! Lizzie & Miranda are in the popular crowd while Gordo gets left behind with Tudgeman in the Chess Club. He's still stuck on Lizzie, though she seems to have forgotten him. Will Gordo ever find true love? With Lizzie? Or with someone new?
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: This is my first fan fiction. Enjoy!

"Gordo! Hurry up! You're slowing us down!" Lizzie cried.

"You don't want to be late on your first day of high school, do you?" Miranda added in distress.

Lizzie and Miranda practically danced up the tall steps of Hillridge High. Their longtime friend David Gordon casually meandered along behind, hands stuck deep in the pockets of his baggy pants. He was calm, he was cool; he was nobody's fool.

"We've got plenty of time," Gordo said. "Homeroom doesn't start till eight o'clock."

"Who cares about Homeroom!" Miranda exclaimed. "We're here to check out all the cute new guys!"

"Let's go!" Lizzie cried.

Gordo sighed as he trudged up the steps. Lizzie and Miranda had always been a little boy-crazy, it's true, but something had changed over the summer. Now they seemed worse than ever.

After a whirlwind tour of Italy in which Lizzie had an amazing adventure with an Italian singing star, she had reunited with Miranda almost immediately upon returning home, and the two girls set off for a month-long "Dance Camp" where, in addition to perfecting their dance moves (Modern, Jazz and Ballet), they had also been instructed in how to "exude feminine charm, grace and confidence."

At least that's what Lizzie wrote on the postcard she had sent Gordo. He kept that postcard folded up in his wallet. And folded up in his heart was the memory of one brief kiss he and Lizzie had shared on the hotel rooftop in Italy.

He would never forget that. He would never forget how stupid he's been, saying "…thanks" after she kissed him. Uh…thanks? What was that? What a doofus! He spent the whole summer hoping for the opportunity to share another kiss with Lizzie, and this time do it properly. This time he would kiss her back, and he would tell her how he really felt.

His greatest hope had been that he and Lizzie might walk up these steps today hand in hand, beginning high school as boyfriend and girlfriend. But between Dance Camp in July, and Gordo being shipped off to spend August with his Uncle Martin, Aunt Suzie and cousin Adam in New York, that opportunity had never arisen.

So here he was, walking up the steps alone, while Lizzie and Miranda, newly infused with feminine charm, grace and confidence, disappeared into the crowd at the top of the stairs, in search of cute boys.

-

Adam had warned Gordo that things might change in high school. "Been there, done that" Adam was newly graduated from high school and packing his bags for college as he doled out wisdom and advise to his younger cousin.

"I know you like this girl Lizzie," Adam said. "But believe me, Davey, she's not the only fish in the sea. If it doesn't work out, don't be afraid to go for other girls."

"Davey" leaned back on the bed, watching Adam fill his suitcase with CD's. "You're wrong," he lamented. "There are no other girls."

"There are!" Adam insisted. "And you'll find them. And they'll find you. I'm sure of it."

David Gordon smirked. "I've never been less sure of anything in my life. Most girls just aren't ready for what I've got to offer."

"And this Lizzie sounds like she's on the top of that list!"

"Hey! I'm not going to let you trash-talk Lizzie."

"It's not trash-talk, Davey. It's an honest observation. From what you've told me---"

"Stop! I don't want to hear any more."

"I can see that you don't," Adam said gently. "That's okay. Just do me a favor, kid. Keep an open mind, and let me know from time to time how you're doing. I'll be right up the road from you, UC at Berkeley. We should get together some time, you think?"

"That would be cool," Gordo said. "Actually, I'd like to come to Berkeley with you. I'd like to skip high school altogether. If I were in college already, I might be six inches taller, and I'd be surrounded by people who were at least half as intelligent as me, rather than only one-quarter. Or one-eighth. I think I'd fit in a lot better."

"Davey," Adam said, "I've always seen you as a very confident and independent person. Since when are you so concerned about 'fitting in'?"

Gordo sighed deeply. "Since realizing that somehow I have got to make it through four years of high school. Ugh!"

-

And now here he was, at the top of the steps, in a crowd of people who were almost all taller than him. Even most of the girls were taller than him. He had hoped over the summer to add at least four inches to his height and was disappointed to gain only two. He had hoped he and Lizzie might be "an item" by this time, but instead she and Miranda were standing in the center of the large courtyard, whispering together and pointing out all the cute boys to each other.

Four middle schools fed into this high school, so three-quarters of the freshmen were fresh faces, never mind all the sophomores, juniors and seniors. The seniors looked so mature! And so tall, thought Gordo. He worked his way through the crowd and joined Lizzie and Miranda.

"See anything you like?" Gordo quipped.

Lizzie squealed. "I see so much. I don't know where to start! This is it, this is it, can't you feel it?"

She grabbed Gordo's arm, looked him in the eye and said, "This is the year when we are going to overcome all the embarrassing stupidity of middle school and really start to shine. Nobody knows us here. Well, almost nobody. We can be anybody we want to be. We can re-invent ourselves."

"Yeah," he said. "I'm going to re-invent myself as 'Dave.' No more 'Gordo,' remember?"

"Oh, I'm sorry! Am I forgetting already?"

"Just a few times…"

"No, really! Do you know what I mean? We can be better than we really are. It's going to happen! Can't you feel it, Gordo?"

He looked at her, his heart suddenly bursting with joy, despite her calling him Gordo yet again. Lizzie's enthusiasm was contagious. "I feel something," he had to admit, acutely aware of her hand squeezing his arm.

"Somewhere here, " Lizzie said, "there is the perfect boyfriend for me. And the perfect boyfriend for you too, Miranda."

"I'm ready!" Miranda exclaimed.

"And even for you," Lizzie said to Gordo.

"I---I don't want a perfect boyfriend…" Gordo replied.

"Silly! I mean there's a girl for you! Look around. See anybody you like?"

Gordo gazed at Lizzie.

"How about her?" Lizzie exclaimed, pointing. "That cute tiny girl with the braids. Do you think she's a freshman?"

"I don't know," Gordo said, still gazing at Lizzie.

A bell rang.

"Oh my God!" Miranda shrieked. "Now we're going to be late!"

"No," Gordo explained calmly. "That's only the first bell. It means we have five minutes to get to Homeroom."

"Then we'd better get going!"

With their last names spread throughout the alphabet---Gordon, McGuire and Sanchez---the three friends were not in the same Homeroom class, though their classrooms were lined up next to each other down the same hallway. As they entered the hallway, Lizzie stopped short by a hot pink flyer on the wall.

"Look at this!" she exclaimed. "Student Government: Meetings on Tuesdays at 3pm."

"We so should go," Miranda said. "We should get involved in our new school."

"We should be part of the solution," Lizzie agreed. "Not part of the problem."

"We should take this opportunity to make lots of new friends," Miranda nodded.

"And," Lizzie added in a whisper, "meet lots of cute boys!"

Gordo rolled his eyes.

"Oh, come on, Gordo!"

"I told you. I'm not interested in meeting cute boys."

"You have to come with us," Lizzie said. "Please, please, please! You love being political, don't you? You'll have a blast. Come on! We have to stick together."

"I---I want to stick with you," Gordo said, "but Tuesdays at three, that's the same time as the AV Club."

"What's the AV Club?" Miranda wondered.

"Audio Visual," Gordo explained. "Making videos. Morning announcements. Handling the sound system as special events."

"Oh, that's so you!" Miranda exclaimed. "You are going to be so good at that, Gordo."

"Dave," he reminded.

"But what about sticking together?" Lizzie pouted.

"We'll find another club we can all be in," Gordo suggested.

"We have to," Lizzie insisted. "We can't let high school tear us apart. We have to stick together. We're coming in as the Three Muskateers, we have to graduate as the Three Muskateers. No matter what happens, friends to the end. Agreed?"

"Agreed!" Gordo and Miranda said in unison, piling their hands on top of Lizzie's, holding tight to this knot of friendship.

Then the second bell rang, they all took back their hands and went into their separate classrooms.


	2. Chapter 2

Please, please R&R! I'm new here, and I would love to get some feedback! Thanks!

As the weeks went on and September morphed into October, the freshmen became more and more comfortable with their classes and their new routine. Lizzie and Miranda enjoyed Student Government, where incidentally they made many new friends and also met several very cute boys.

They also tried out for Cheerleading, where the dance skills, charm, grace and confidence they had perfected over the summer earned them a spot on the team. Gordo came by with his video camera to document their practices for a short feature he was doing for the AV Club, which would be seen on the morning announcements.

Gordo was actually having a better time in high school than he had anticipated. The work in his advanced classes did not bore him, and the AV Club gave him an opportunity to express himself creatively. There were only two problems.

One: He seemed to have stopped growing any taller.

Two: He, Lizzie and Miranda could not find a club they were all interested in joining.

Gordo suggested the Debate Club, because he wanted to improve his presentation skills. After all, someday he may have to convince a big movie producer to take on his latest film project. Lizzie, however, cringed when she got up in front of the group. In fact, the worst possible thing happened.

As Lizzie stood behind the podium, some of the kids suddenly recognized her as that girl they had seen on the local news and Good Morning, America, tearing down the curtains at her middle school graduation. Embarrassed beyond belief, Lizzie ran from the room and never came back. In a show of support for her friend, Miranda also left. Gordo stayed.

Miranda suggested the Spanish Club. Her cousin Carlos had been teaching her the language quite a bit lately, so she thought this club would be a lot of fun. Mrs. Alejandro was so pleased to have such an able speaker in the club that she made Miranda her assistant. This essentially meant Miranda was required to spend hours tutoring other students, which was actually more work than fun.

Miranda was glad when Cheerleading practice moved to Wednesdays, making the Spanish Club impossible for either her or Lizzie. Without his friends to keep him company, Gordo also abandoned ship.

Now it was Lizzie's turn to think of a club they could all enjoy. Weeks went by and she had no suggestion. Between her schoolwork, Student Government and Cheerleading, there was not much time for anything else.

Except Brett.

Miranda knew about Brett, but Gordo did not. But he was about to find out.

-

"Gordo! Gordo!" Lizzie called across the courtyard.

Gordo heard his "name" and looked to see who was calling it. There was Lizzie, sitting on a bench in the late afternoon sunshine. She looked beautiful in a baby blue sweater and blue jeans. Her hair was practically shining. Gordo walked over to her, smiling. He couldn't remember the last time he and Lizzie had been alone together.

"Hi," he said. "What are you doing here so late? Did you miss the bus?"

"Oh, no," she said. "I'm waiting for…for my math tutor. We're going to go over a few things."

"On a Friday evening?" Gordo laughed. "I know you can't be doing so bad in math, Lizzie, that you need to start your weekend with a vigorous session of 'If A plus B equals C, then what does Y equal?'"

Lizzie didn't say anything, but she looked down at her books.

Something didn't feel right to Gordo. He thought he knew what it was. "Hey!" he said suddenly, sitting down next to her. "If you're having trouble with math, you can come ask me. You know I'm always here for you."

"Oh, Gordo---"

"No, really. Show me what you've got. I want to help."

"Gordo---"

"And please," he said gently. "Please stop calling me Gordo."

"All right…Dave." Lizzie grimaced. Then, "That doesn't sound right."

"But it's who I am now. At least who I'm trying to become."

"But what was wrong with Gordo?"

"Gordo is this dweeb from middle school who thinks he knows it all."

"But Gor---! But…but…you do know it all," Lizzie insisted. "At least you know a whole lot."

"No, I don't," Gordo said. "I know some stuff, school stuff mostly, but I'm pretty shaky on the really important stuff." He took a deep breath, deciding to go for it. "For instance," he began, "let's say there's this girl I like---"

"Oh!" Lizzie brightened. "There's a girl you like?"

Gordo sighed. Maybe he was going to have to hit her on the head with a brick. "Yeah," he said. "This girl I like…and I've liked her a really, really long time…"

"Oooh! Oooh!" Lizzie exclaimed, but she was not responding to him. She was responding to a cute boy walking across the courtyard.

_Again with the cute boys!_ Gordo thought. This was really getting out of hand.

But then things got worse. The cute boy, who was blonde and tan and appeared to stand at least six feet tall, was walking in their direction. Suddenly he waved and smiled. "Lizzie!" he yelled.

Gordo felt the bottom fall out. He also felt Lizzie getting all goosepimply beside him as she stood up and bounced a little. "Hi, Brett!"

Brett reached Lizzie, and to Gordo's great relief he did not kiss her or hug her, but an intense and obvious eyelock left no doubt in Gordo's mind that even if this was Lizzie's math tutor, he was also a lot more.

"Hi," he said, his eyes smiling into hers.

"Hi," she repeated, smiling back.

"Hi," he said again.

It was getting a little ridiculous.

Gordo wanted to be anywhere but here. He shifted his backpack, wondering if there was any way he could inconspicuously sneak away. He was sure Lizzie would never miss him.

But suddenly Brett said, "So who's your friend?"

"Ooh!" Lizzie exclaimed. "Brett! This is my friend! This is one of my oldest friends in the whole world, Gor---Gor---David Gordon. Sorry. And Gor---and Dave," she said with difficulty, "this is Brett. Brett Billingsly." She almost sang his name, then added, "He's my math tutor."

Brett snickered for a moment before he gave Gordo a casual nod. "Hey."

"Hey," Gordo returned, striving to appear equally casual, though in reality he felt he was about to explode with jealousy.

"So…Lizzie's friend…"

"Yeah…"

"The one that always used to hang out with her and Miranda…"

Gordo nodded. He felt small and stupid sitting there while Lizzie and Brett were standing. He thought about standing up also, but seeing Brett up close now he guessed that his estimate of six feet was not too far off. Standing up next to Brett wouldn't make anything better, and it might just make things worse.

"So," Brett said suddenly to Gordo. "I hear you're pretty smart." It sounded like he was issuing a challenge.

"Oh!" Lizzie exclaimed. "Gordo is like a genius! And he's so creative. You know the morning announcements---"

"Gordo?" Brett laughed.

Lizzie gasped. "Just a nickname. He doesn't use it any more. I mean Dave---"

"So how's it hangin'…Dave?" Brett said, using a phrase Gordo absolutely detested.

Gritting his teeth and pulling himself together, Gordo answered, somewhat testily, "It's hangin'…Brett. How's it hangin' for you?"

Lizzie gave Gordo a funny look. It had been many weeks since they had even talked, but she knew him well enough to sense the negative vibes pouring out of him. This was horrible! Her best friend and her new boyfriend at odds, only minutes after meeting. She had to do something to fix this! And quick!

"So, anyway!" she sang. "Big night tonight, huh? The new Johnny Depp movie."

Brett looked at Gordo and said, "The chicks really dig Johnny Depp, don't they?"

"Yeah," Gordo agreed. "Chicks."

"So anyway!" Lizzie repeated, now directing her words more towards Gordo. "A bunch of us are going out to see it tonight, up at the mall. Probably hang out afterwards. You should come, Gor---Dave. Please come!"

Lizzie's only thought was that if the two men she most adored in the world did not seem to like each other, the only possible explanation could be that they simply did not know each other. This outing would give them a chance to become friends.

The last thing Gordo wanted to do was spend an evening watching Lizzie and Brett make goo-goo eyes at each other---or worse! But Brett was giving him a look that dared him to accept the invitation.

"Oh, come on!" Lizzie encouraged. "Miranda will be there She just broke up with Jimmy. You can be her date."

"Sure," Brett said. "Lizzie and I would love to have you hang out with us."

Gordo was torn, knowing this evening could too easily end in heartache and torment. Yet he was unable to resist the challenge. Brett dared Gordo to intrude upon his time with Lizzie, and as if that wasn't bad enough, Gordo realized he was challenging himself not be intimidated by this good-looking doofus.

"Well," Gordo said, forcing a smile. "I haven't seen Miranda for a while. Sure. It sounds like fun."


	3. Chapter 3

First, thanks so much to those who have commented, especially to Black Knight 03 with the good advice about allowing anonymous comments. I'm new, so there's still a lot I don't know. So thanks!

Next, I need some help. I lost my cable TV before I got to see the end of the show, so I'm not really sure how everything ended up. Before I do the next chapter I need to know whether or not Miranda ever knew that Gordo has a crush on Lizzie. My impression is that he always kept this secret to himself, but if anyone has any information to the contrary, please let me know.

Also, I want to mention a certain gift Gordo gets for his birthday. Any idea when his birthday is? I don't remember ever seeing that. Please let me know if anyone has some super Gordo trivia to share. Thanks!

-

The more Gordo thought about it, the more he regretted his decision to hang out with Lizzie's new friends. He was seriously considering forgetting the whole thing, but as he walked through the front door of his house, the phone rang, and five seconds later Miranda was exclaiming in his ear, "Gordo! Lizzie just called me. She says you're coming to the movies with us tonight. That is so cool!"

Miranda was so excited by the idea of hanging out with Gordo, he couldn't possibly say no. An hour later, he had showered and changed his clothes and was walking down the block to the Sanchez house, just like in the old days.

In the old days, however, Lizzie would have joined them on the bus ride to the mall. Tonight, Miranda explained, they would be meeting her at the Food Court.

"What you mean," Gordo clarified, "is that we'll be meeting Lizzie and **_Brett_**."

"And Mike and Melissa and Nicole," Miranda added, ignoring the edge in Gordo's voice. Lizzie had told her a little over the phone. Miranda was aware Gordo and Brett were not about to join each other's fan clubs, but she certainly wasn't going to feed that fire.

It felt a little odd at first, Gordo thought, to be hanging out with Miranda again. She had changed a bit since middle school. She had a cute new hairstyle and was wearing makeup.

"You look nice," Gordo said suddenly when their conversation temporarily lagged on the walk to the bus stop.

"Do you like the highlights?" she asked, flipping her hair forward.

"Highlights?"

"In my hair."

Gordo looked. "I don't see anything in your hair."

Miranda sighed in exasperation. "I told my mother we had to leave the stuff on longer. She kept saying it should be 'subtle.' What's the use of being subtle if nobody can even see it?"

On the bus they talked about their classes and their failed attempts to find an interesting club. Miranda talked about Jimmy, who she had dated for exactly nine days, and who she now proclaimed was a "primo jerk." She asked Gordo if there were any girls he was interested in. He lied and said no.

At the Food Court they met Mike, Melissa and Nicole. Mike and Melissa were obviously a couple, holding hands. Gordo recognized Nicole from his History class.

"I love history!" Nicole said passionately. "Not so much what we're studying now, the Roman Empire, ugh. And not so much the way Mr. Damion teaches it. Boring! But recent history, the 20th Century, like the last few decades, I wish we could study that."

"You can when you go to college," Gordo said. "I e-mail with my cousin Adam at UC Berkeley and he's taking a course called The Recent United States. Right now he's studying about the counter-culture of the 1960's."

"I love the 60's!" Nicole exclaimed. "My grandfather was at Woodstock. He was a total Dead Head. He told me all about it. Man, I wish I could have been there."

"My grandfather too!" Gordo said. "He was there too!" He took a good look at Nicole and for the first time he noticed that her eyes were kind of green, but not really. Her long straight hair was kind of brown, but brown was too plain a word to describe it. Maybe golden brown, he thought. Maybe honey brown…

Miranda took a step back, her grin about to pop off her face. With any luck, she thought, Gordo might soon have to change his answer when asked if there were any girls he was interested in.

Gordo and Nicole were in a deep discussion about the Beatles' influence on the current music scene when Gordo suddenly realized that Lizzie and Brett had joined the group, arm in arm. When Gordo saw Lizzie, he completely forgot what he was saying to Nicole.

"Uh…Lizzie. Hi," was all he could get out as he noticed how pretty she looked in pink and yellow. Again, her hair was shining, despite the total lack of sunshine in the Food Court.

"Hey, Gordo!" Brett said, punching his arm. "You made it, dude!"

Gordo looked up at Brett's smirking face. A half dozen zingers ran through his mind, but then he looked at Lizzie and decided to control his sarcasm.

"Hey, Brett," was all he said.

"So, we should head over to the movies," Melissa said. "It's getting late."

The group set out, Mike and Melissa in front, Lizzie and Brett directly behind, their arms still around each other. Gordo brought up the rear, flanked by Miranda on one side and Nicole on the other. Nicole continued with her thoughts on the Beatles, and Gordo tried to listen, but he could not pull his eyes off Lizzie in front of him, leaning her head against Brett's tall shoulder. It was hard to concentrate.

Noting Gordo's distracted state, Miranda linked her arm through his and leaned across to whisper to Nicole, loud enough for Gordo to hear, of course, "I don't care what anybody says, Nikki, you and I have got the cutest date here."

Nicole smiled, and taking her cure from Miranda, also linked her arm through Gordo's.

Gordo laughed a little. They were both very sweet, but his laugh had a tinge of melancholy to it. He wondered if it was his destiny to always be surrounded by two girls, yet never really be with any one girl.

-

The movie was good. Gordo knew it was good because within minutes he had almost completely forgotten that Lizzie and Brett were sitting at the end of the aisle, sharing a soda and feeding each other popcorn. Brett, with his long legs, was the kind of guy who needed an end seat so he could stretch out. This put him and Lizzie as far away as possible from Gordo, who was still sandwiched between his old friend Miranda and his new friend Nicole.

From this pleasant position Gordo enjoyed the cinematic experience, thinking what a genius that Tim Burton was. Someday he hoped to make movies like this…though he also hoped some things would change in his life so his movies wouldn't be quite so dark and so weird. But at the moment he could almost imagine himself heading down that same path.

After the movie they all went to the Food Court for a snack. The two couples sat at one table, and Gordo with his two "girlfriends" at a table pulled up close. Nicole was so interesting, and he felt sure she would be so much fun to be with, if only he could stop looking at Lizzie!

Every now and then, Brett noticed Gordo looking at Lizzie and shot him a death stare. Lizzie's plan for them to get to like each other was definitely backfiring. Gordo wasn't really sure, but at one point he noticed Brett and Mike whispering together, and suspected they were talking and laughing about him.

As they all stood up to leave, Brett suddenly wrapped his arms tightly around Lizzie and said, "Grab your woman, Mike! Shorto here isn't happy with two girls. I think he wants them all."

Miranda gasped loudly and punched Brett in the arm. "That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard!"

"But it's true," Brett said, looking directly at Gordo.

Gordo gave Brett a look of disgust. "It's not true," he said flatly.

"But you want **_my_** girlfriend," Brett replied. "That much is obvious."

Gordo felt on edge, his heart beating fast. Playing chess with his dad, he had learned how to think out several moves in advance, but no matter how he imagined himself responding now, the end result was not good. So, for the moment, he did nothing.

"Brett! Let go of me!" Lizzie screeched. "Ow! Ow! You're squeezing me too tight!"

Now the game had changed. Gordo knew that tone in Lizzie's voice. In third grade she had somehow gotten her leg stuck in a folding chair and screamed "Ow! Ow!" This wasn't quite like that, but it was close. Too close for Gordo to continue standing idly by.

But what was he going to say? What was he going to do? Any action on his part would be met with total defiance on Brett's part. This kid wanted to fight him, and if the battle became physical, Gordo knew without a doubt he would be pummeled.

His mind raced, looking for a way to turn this into a battle of wits, a battle he felt sure he could win. But before anything could occur to him, Brett voluntarily released Lizzie and quickly turned her around to face Gordo.

"Is this what you want?" he demanded of Gordo. "Tell the truth, Shorto. You want Lizzie, don't you?"

All at once several things happened.

Mike caught on to the second use of the mutated nickname and burst out, "Ha! Ha! Shorto!" He laughed hysterically.

Lizzie pulled away from Brett, saying, "Don't be ridiculous!"

And Miranda once again punched Brett in the arm, exclaiming, "Brett, you can be the biggest jerk!"

Nicole came to Gordo's side, gently putting her arm on his shoulder, but in his agitation, he pulled away. He stepped back from the group, hands up, and announced, "I'm done here."

Then he turned and walked away.


	4. Chapter 4

_First, many thanks for thoughtful comments, especially for Black Knight 03 pointing out how Lizzie would probably respond. I've been so engrossed in Gordo's POV, I kind of forgot to consider that, but now I've expanded a little in this chapter (almost twice as long!) and I hope all the characters read "true to character."_

_Also, for anyone who might be waiting for Tudgeman (one of my personal favorites!), he will appear in the next chapter._

_-_

_-_

"Gordo! Gordo!"

Gordo cringed. Now who was yelling his name? Why were they always yelling _that_ name? On the plus side, at least they weren't shouting "Shorto!"

Halfway to the bus stop outside the mall, Gordo turned around and saw Miranda running towards him. "Hey, wait up!" she called. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going home," Gordo said flatly.

Miranda came to his side and caught her breath. "Are you okay, Gordo? Lizzie asked me to make sure you're okay."

"If Lizzie's so concerned about me, why are you here and not her?" Gordo said bitterly.

"Lizzie wanted to come, but she was too busy giving Brett an intense verbal thrashing."

"A thrashing?" Gordo questioned.

"It's one of my vocabulary words. It means---"

"I know what it means."

"She's telling him off. Big time."

"She is?"

"Yes! You don't think she would let anyone get away with treating you like that, do you?"

"I don't know," Gordo said glumly. "Sometimes I feel like I don't really know Lizzie all that well anymore."

He came to the bus bench and plopped himself down, feeling utterly dejected.

Miranda looked at him. "I'm going with you," she announced. "I'm done here also. It's way too intense for me in there. Would you just wait here a minute, though? I want to run back and tell Lizzie---"

"Wait," Gordo said as he reached in his pocket. "I saw that girl Melissa using a cell phone. Do you know her number? You can call her on this."

"Gordo!" Miranda exclaimed, taking the cell phone from his outstretched hand. "When did you get this? Cool!"

"My parents gave it to me for my birthday last month," Gordo sighed. "They seem to feel I'm responsible enough now to carry a cell phone."

Miranda plopped down on the bench next to him, dialing Melissa's number. "That probably explains why my parents haven't bought one for me yet," she quipped as she waited for the ring tone.

-

-

"It's no big deal!" Brett insisted. "Your little friend is way too sensitive."

"No big deal?" Lizzie yelled back. "Brett! You've been nothing but rude to him since---"

""Hey! Lizzie! Don't you have that backwards? Who's been rude to who?"

"And where do you get off handling me like that? Like I'm some commodity---"

"Commodity?" Brett questioned.

"Vocabulary word," Lizzie shot back impatiently. "It means---"

"I know what it means, and I was not treating you that way. I was just---"

Melissa's cell phone rang and she pulled it out of her purse. Lizzie and Brett continued arguing back and forth till Melissa cut in a few moments late, saying, "Hey, guys. That was Miranda. She found Dave outside and they're heading home together on the bus."

Lizzie looked at Melissa and made a decision. "Can I use your cell phone, Melissa?" she asked, holding back tears. She dialed her home phone number, turned away from the others, and squeaked, "Mom? Can you come pick me up? I'm ready to come home now."

-

-

Gordo and Miranda sat next to each other on the nearly empty bus, not talking for many minutes. Gordo looked out the window at the familiar buildings passing by in the dark. Miranda looked at Gordo.

Finally she spoke. "You never answered his question, you know."

Gordo turned his head away from the dark safety of the outside world and faced Miranda. "What question?"

"About Lizzie. About whether or not you want her."

Gordo sighed. "And what would be the sense in answering that question?"

"Not for him," Miranda clarified. "I agree with you that Brett can be kind of a jerk sometimes---"

Gordo smirked. "Kind of? Sometimes?"

"And how you feel about Lizzie is something between you and Lizzie and really has nothing to do with him."

"How can it have nothing to do with him?" Gordo asked. "He's her freakin' _boyfriend_ now---"

"Maybe not for long," Miranda said. "But that's not the point, anyway. You need to answer that question for yourself, Gordo. Do you want Lizzie? You need to answer that, and truthfully, and soon, and do something about it one way or the other."

"What am I going to do about it, Miranda? For some reason I can't explain I can't seem to make myself do anything about it. I'm immobilized. I'm confused. I'm hopelessly pathetic."

"You are not!" Miranda said. "You're just in love, and maybe a little scared of being hurt and rejected."

Gordo blushed deeply and turned back to looking out the window. He hadn't even realized Miranda knew the secret he had tried so hard to hide. But now that it was out in the open, he decided to say, "You know Lizzie pretty good, Miranda. I'm sure you two talk about all kinds of girl stuff. What do you think? Would she reject me?"

Miranda thought for a moment then said, "Difficult to say. Lizzie's pretty confused about you too, I think. She told me how she kissed you in Italy, but then you never said or did anything about it. She was hoping you would."

"She was?" Gordo said, brightening. "She was hoping?"

"She was," Miranda confirmed. "But when you didn't, she thought maybe you didn't like her after all, and she felt foolish for ever kissing you in the first place. At least that's what she told me."

"Oh, man!" Gordo groaned, hating himself for being so stupid. "And how does she feel about me now?"

"Difficult to say," Miranda repeated. "Since Brett came on the scene, he's all I hear about. Look, Gordo. We all knew when we got to high school some things would change, we just didn't know which things and how much. If you really want to know how Lizzie feels about you now, why don't you just ask her?"

"I don't know, Miranda. Why don't I? Maybe I'm a little scared of being hurt and rejected?" Gordo said, throwing Miranda's own words back in her face.

"Gordo---"

"I don't want to talk about this anymore," he said, turning away from Miranda as he felt his heart growing as dark as the images that passed by beyond the bus window.

-

-

"Our first fight," Brett moaned, shuffling along beside Mike and Melissa through the mall. "And what was it about? That smart-ass Shorto! Shorto Dorko!"

Mike laughed. "Ha ha! Dorko."

"Listen," Melissa said suddenly. "Do you want to be with Lizzie or not? Because if you do, Brett, you've got to stop insulting her friend. Not only that, you need to apologize, not only to Lizzie but also to him."

"I do want to be with Lizzie," Brett said. "And I will apologize to her, if that's what I have to do. But I will never apologize to Shorto Dorko. That kid has it coming to him, and I'm gonna---"

"You're gonna lose Lizzie unless you get yourself under control, " Melissa said wisely. "Don't you know? She and Shor---and Dave have been friends forever, like since the day they were born. That's never going to change. If you want to hang on to Lizzie, you'd better show some respect."

"That's right," Mike nodded. "Show some respect!"

Brett rolled his eyes, but he knew Melissa was right. A big time apology was in order. To Lizzie. Not to Shorto. He would never apologize to that kid.

But he was going to keep a close eye on him.

-

-

Jo McGuire pulled the car up to the curb and Lizzie got in the front seat. Nicole has asked Lizzie if she could also have a ride home, since it was on the way, and she also was "done" with the evening.

"Hi, Nicole, honey," Jo said. "Nice to see you again. You live in St. Andrews, right?"

"Yes, Mrs. McGuire. Off the end of the main road. I'll direct you when we get there. Thanks so much for the ride."

"No problem," Jo said. "I'm just wondering why you're all breaking up the party so early. Lizzie, you sounded awful on the phone. What happened?"

"Oh, Mom, it was awful! Brett and I had our first fight. In front of everybody. Well…almost everybody."

"Lizzie!" Jo exclaimed with motherly concern. "What did you fight about?"

"That's the worst part," Lizzie cried. "We fought about Gordo. Brett's jealous. I guess he thinks Gordo likes me."

"But Gordo does like you, honey."

"I mean for some reason Brett thinks he _likes me_ likes me."

"But Gordo does _like you_ like you," Jo insisted. "He's had a little crush on you for ever so long. You know that."

"No, I don't know that!" Lizzie lamented. "I thought I did, but now I'm not so sure. I'm so confused, Mom. Gordo hasn't really been around much lately, and even when he is, I'm not really sure what he's thinking. But Brett is there all the time, and I always know what he's thinking, and I like him so much. I mean I really _like him_ like him…"

"Lizzie," Mom said. "Boys like Brett will come and go in your life. But Gordo will always be there for you."

"Will he?" Lizzie sniffed.

"Oh, honey," Jo said. "I'm so sure of it."

-

-

The moment Nicole got into her house, she picked up her phone and dialed Miranda. The bus ride took so much longer than a car ride, however, and it was a half hour before Miranda returned her call.

"Just got in," Miranda said. "What's up?"

"I'm wondering about Dave," Nicole said. "Is he okay?"

"He's kind of down," Miranda answered, "but he'll be okay."

"Oh, I hope so," Nicole said. "Brett can be such a jerk, can't he? Sometimes I don't know what Lizzie sees in him. Sometimes I don't like him at all."

"But I know someone you do like," Miranda teased.

"Who?"

"Someone you met tonight, someone you called to ask me about…"

"Yes," Nicole admitted. "I do like him! He's so cute and funny and smart. Don't you think?"

"Are you gonna go for him?" Miranda asked, excited.

"I don't know. Should I? I think there might be a problem."

"What problem?"

"Well, in the car on the way home, Mrs. McGuire said Dave has had a crush on Lizzie for a long time. Is that true?...Miranda?...Miranda?"

Miranda sighed. "Yes, it's true."

Now Nicole sighed. "Then that's that."

"That's what?" Miranda demanded.

"That's the end of that story," Nicole said. "There's nothing worse than going for someone who's crazy about someone else. It's bad enough when your heart gets broken all on its own. It doesn't make any sense to set yourself up for it."

"But it might not always be that way with Lizzie and Gordo," Miranda said. "Something could change." Of course Lizzie and Gordo were Miranda's two very best friends, and she only wanted what was best for them both, but lately she wasn't sure they were really best for each other any more.

"Well, if something changes," Nicole said, "you'll let me know, won't you? In the meantime, like my mom always says, 'I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.'"

-

-

Gordo lay on his bed, in the dark, staring at the ceiling, the Beatles _Abbey Road_ CD playing quietly in the background. Subconsciously he had chosen Beatles music because he and Nicole had been talking about it earlier in the evening. Nicole had gained her appreciation from her hippie grandfather. Gordo, oddly enough, had been turned on to their music by his cousin Adam who, though only four years older than Gordo, enjoyed a quirky interest in classic rock and roll. Gordo envied the way Adam carried off his quirkiness. He always seemed so full of self-confidence.

Gordo had also spent most of his life feeling relatively self-confident, but these first two months of high school had done a lot to turn that around. Tonight had probably done more damage than any other single incident.

He didn't care about Brett calling him Shorto. Brett was an idiot. What did Lizzie see in that guy anyway? He was sure the old cliché about love being blind entered into it somehow.

Lizzie herself was more of the problem. She had been so much a part of his life for so long that he didn't feel like himself anymore now that she seemed to be drifting further and further away. There was a hole in Gordo's heart where the depth of their friendship used to reside, made even worse by the deeper feelings he had for her, which apparently were not reciprocated. He stared at the ceiling and felt a heaviness in his chest.

He heard the phone ring beside his bed but did not move to answer it until his dad yelled up the stairs, "David! Phone!"

"Who is it?" he called.

"I think it's Miranda."

Gordo sighed. He had left Miranda less than an hour ago. She had asked him to come over her house, but he didn't feel like it. She had wondered if she might hang out for a while at his house, but he said he wanted to be alone. He reached for the phone now and said "Miranda, I know you're concerned about me, but---"

"I am concerned about you, Gordo. But I'm not Miranda."

He lay down flat on the bed again, his chest hurting worse than ever as he breathed, "Lizzie…"

"Your dad's losing his touch," Lizzie said. "He used to know my voice every time."

"Well, he hasn't heard it in quite a while." Now why had he said that? Why was he being so mean?

"Ouch," Lizzie said quietly. "I deserved that."

"I'm sorry," Gordo said.

"No, I'm sorry, Gordo. That's why I'm calling. To apologize. What happened tonight, it was awful. But Brett just called me to apologize, and he's so truly sorry for everything he said and did---"

"Wait," Gordo interrupted. "Are you apologizing to me…for Brett?"

"He's really upset about what happened---"

Gordo choked back a laugh. "I'll bet."

"No, he really is!" Lizzie insisted. "If only you could have heard him. It was the sweetest apology in the history of apologies---"

"And you fell for it?"

"Gordo!"

"Lizzie! The guy is…he's…Come on, Lizzie. I thought you were smarter than that."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Lizzie asked defensively.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry," he said, apologizing again. "Scratch that from the record. Can we start over?"

"How far back do you want to go?" Lizzie asked. "Back to the part about your dad losing his touch?"

Gordo closed his eyes, taking several deep breaths. The perfect reply had magically occurred to him. In his head, he could hear himself saying, "No, Lizzie. Let's go all the way back to Italy, when you kissed me on the rooftop." If he could make himself say that, how might she respond? Would she go back that far with him? Could he really call "Do Over!" as if their lives were a game of kickball?

"Gordo…?" Lizzie questioned quietly.

"I…I…"

"Are you okay?"

_I can't breathe, _he thought. _I can't do this._

"Gordo…?"

"I…I miss you, Lizzie."

There! He'd said that much. It wasn't what he really wanted to say, but it was a start.

"Oh, Gordo!" Lizzie exclaimed. "That's so sweet. I miss you too. I miss the way you, me and Miranda always used to hang out. We have to find a way to do that again. I'm going to talk to Miranda, we're going to figure something out. I don't want to lose you, Gordo. I don't want to lose our friendship."

"Friendship…" Gordo repeated.

"Three Musketeers and all that."

"Yeah. All that. But…Lizzie, what about Brett?"

"What about him?"

"He hates my guts, I'm sure you've noticed. He's not going to let you hang out with me."

Lizzie gasped. "What do you mean 'not let me'? He doesn't own me. He can't tell me what to do."

"So…like…" Gordo began, feeling encouraged enough to be bold, "what if he were to say---"

He was going to ask, "What if he were to say 'It's him or me, you have to choose'" but before he could get that far, Lizzie suddenly announced, "Oh! I have another call. It must be Brett, I told him to call me back. Talk to you later, Gordo. Bye!"

A moment later the phone lay dead in his hand. He stared at the ceiling and listened to the Beatles, afraid he had the answer to the question he had not been able to ask.


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning Gordo moped around the house in his pajamas, watching cartoons, eating Fritos and trying hard not to think about Lizzie and everything that had happened. Miranda called about ten o'clock, asking again if he wanted to come over. He said no. She would want to talk, and he was too depressed for that kind of talk.

Despite everything Lizzie had said the night before about keeping the Three Musketeers alive, Gordo doubted anything was going to change. Case in point: he asked Miranda if she knew what Lizzie was doing today, and her answer was, "Not sure. I think she and Brett---"

"Never mind."

"Gordo---"

"Forget it. No, wait. Don't forget it. Has she talked to you yet? Since last night, I mean. Has she talked to you about us three doing something together?"

"Well, she did call me," Miranda said.

"And what did she say?"

"Not much. About a minute into our call, Brett rang through and she put me on hold. She said she would be right back, but…"

"At least you got put on hold, " Gordo said miserably. "I more or less got hung up on."

"So you talked with Lizzie last night?" Miranda asked, full of interest. "What did she say?"

Here's where Gordo decided the conversation had gone far enough. "Oh, hey!" he said suddenly, as he flipped through the channels. "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! I haven't seen them in years. I'll talk to you later, Miranda. Bye!"

After he hung up, he felt terrible. Just because he was annoyed with Lizzie was no reason to take it out on Miranda. He would apologize to her. Later. Now he settled back with the Turtles in the sewers of New Your City and felt himself sinking deeper into the pit.

His mother returned from food shopping about one p.m. and Gordo was forced to put on real clothes so he could help her carry in packages from the car. (Gordons did not appear in public in their pajamas.)

This task completed, Mom said, "Well, as long as you're dressed, dear, why don't you go outside for a while? It's a beautiful day. You could practice on your skateboard."

Gordo didn't want his mom asking questions. She was looking at him suspiciously enough already. As a psychiatrist she well recognized the first signs of depression. Being his mom didn't help, either.

"You're right, Mom," Gordo agreed. "Beautiful day. I think I'll skateboard."

In New York last August, Adam had gifted Gordo his old skateboard as an early birthday present. The design had worn off but the wheels were still in pretty good shape. Adam was still learning himself, but he knew enough to teach Gordo some basic maneuvers and tricks. During those few weeks they practiced together often in Central Park. Adam said when he visited Hillridge with his family for Thanksgiving he wanted to see Gordo do a perfect ollie. That was nearly six weeks away, and Gordo was not even close. A practice session was definitely in order.

Gordo spent an hour in the park, perfecting his braking techniques, flipping his board and flying over curbs. He felt good. He was breaking a sweat and he wasn't thinking about Lizzie. He rolled through the park looking for a higher curb or step to conquer. He did not find one, but he did find Larry Tudgeman playing chess with a very cute girl.

"Tudge!" Gordo exclaimed, skating up to their table, then flipping his board expertly into his hands.

The girl looked up at him, frowning. She gave him a loud "shhh!" then went back to staring at the chessboard.

For a few moments Tudgeman and the girl sat motionless, intent. Gordo noticed a timer on the table. It was about to "bing!" when Tudgeman exclaimed, "Ah ha!" He made a moved and grinned. "Check."

The girl reset the timer, moved her queen and said, "Your turn."

"Hey!"

Gordo stood by and followed the progress of the game until at last he could see that Tudge was in serious trouble. Only a few moves more and it was "Checkmate."

"You win again," Tudge conceded, smiling at his opponent. "Another one? Or maybe you'd like to play Gordon? He was pretty good…back in the day."

Gordo laughed. "You mean in 5th grade math class?"

"Gordon and I would finish our fractions way before everyone else," Tudge explained to the girl. "Mrs. Tate didn't know what to do with us, so she gave us a chessboard. We must have played a hundred games that year. And pretty evenly matched."

"Even?" Gordo said. "I beat you six-tenths of the time. Or don't you remember?"

"I don't remember," Tudgeman said quickly, then, "Hey, Gordon, I want you to meet my girlfriend, Meryl. Meryl, this is David Gordon."

"Hi," Meryl said, looking up at him, smiling now instead of frowning.

Gordo smiled back. He couldn't remember when he had seen so many freckles. "Hi," he said.

"So you think you're pretty hot stuff, huh?" Meryl said, but still smiling. "I beat Tudge 74 percent of the time, so I think you and I might have a pretty good game. Want to give it a go?"

"Well…" Gordo began, "it's been a while. I'm sure I'm rusty."

Suddenly Meryl stood up and Gordo noticed how very short she was, even shorter than him. How refreshing!

"Go ahead," Meryl said. "I'll let you warm up on Tudge. Let's see what you got, Gordon."

"Well…okay." Gordo said down where Meryl had been. His chess game was indeed rusty, and Tudge won the first game, but Gordo said "Best two out of three," and with that challenge accepted, Gordo squeaked out a victory on the second game and quickly clobbered Tudge in the third.

"That last one was pure luck," Tudge said. "Meryl was distracting me."

Meryl giggled. She _had_ been distracting him, sitting beside him and blowing in his ear. "It's part of the training, sweetie," she reminded. "You've got to be able to concentrate amid all kinds of distractions."

"I find that clock kind of distracting," Gordo said. "You guys are really serious about this, aren't you?"

"The clock is always used in Matches," Tudgeman explained. "We're in the Chess Club. We challenge other schools in the District, and if we do well, we'll go to County, and maybe even State."

"I wouldn't plan quite that far ahead," Meryl said. To Gordo she added, "Tudge is kind of a dreamer, don't you think?"

Gordo laughed lightly, remembering the Tudgeman from middle school. This guy seemed a lot better off, a lot happier. After all, he had a new shirt, and best of all, he now had a girlfriend.

"Hey, nice shirt," Gordo said.

"Gordon!" Meryl exclaimed suddenly. "You beat Tudge two out of three. That means statistically you'll probably pan out as a better player than him, and no doubt much better that Anna Belle. You ought to join the Chess Club."

"Good thinking, Merry!" Tudge exclaimed and they did some quick crazy motions with their knuckles. As Gordo watched, he wondered if this was the secret handshake of the Chess Club or only their own personal communication.

"Join the Chess Club," Tudge said to Gordo. "We go to a lot of Matches and we're doing pretty good. And you remember Mr. Dig from middle school?"

"Yeah, I've seen him around," Gordo said. "I guess he graduated when we did."

"The pay is better for high school teachers," Tudge explained. "He applied for a job at Hillridge High and got it. Now he's the Advisor for the Chess Club. And any time we have a Match he takes us all for pizza, whether we win or lose."

"He's a lot of fun," Meryl said.

"It's all fun," Tudge added. "I know it sounds kind of dorky, a bunch of smart kids playing board games, but everybody's really decent."

"Though a little weird," Meryl added.

Gordo chuckled, thinking _Then I should fit right in._

"You gonna do it?" Tudge asked.

I don't know," Gordo said. "I'm not sure I'm good enough."

"You beat Tudge," Meryl reminded.

"But I could always beat Tudge."

"Then you gotta try to beat me," Meryl said, scooting Tudge out of the way and taking his seat. She began to set up the pieces. "Not that you'll actually be able to do it," she grinned.

Gordo helped set the board, now up for the challenge. "Oh yeah? Bring it on!"

Meryl, he soon found out, was a tough opponent. Game one was impossible, but on their second try he began to understand her strategies and fared better, though he still lost. On their third game he chased her around the board for so long that even though he lost again, he now knew he could indeed beat her some time in the future.

"Good game, Gordon!" Meryl said, jumping up from the table. "It's late! I gotta go!"

"See you, Merry," Tudge said as he gave her a kiss. Now there was an odd sight!

"Nice meeting you, Gordon," Meryl said.

Gordo nodded. "Yeah. You too, Merry."

As they watched her run off, Gordo suddenly realized how late it really was. Hours had passed…hours during which not once had he thought about Lizzie or felt depressed. Chess was good to get his mind off his problems. Maybe he should join the Chess Club.

He looked at Tudge, who was still looking at Meryl, running off in the distance. Tudge signed wistfully. "Isn't she something?"

"Yeah, she's really something," Gordo agreed. "And smart too."

Tudge looked sideways at Gordo. "Don't get any ideas," he warned. "Meryl is mine."

"Oh! Absolutely!"

"And that 'Merry' business," Tudge added. "That's mine too. Don't call her that."

"Sorry. I didn't know."

"Well, now that you do," Tudge said, "I think we're gonna get along just fine."


	6. Chapter 6

_Just a note: I'm thinking this story may finish up in about 10 chapters. This chapter ends with a cliffhanger! I'm taking notes for a new story. My man Gordo still the main character, but a very different kind of story coming up soon._

_-_

So David Gordon joined the Chess Club. He discovered he was indeed better at the game than Tudge or AnnaBelle, the strange Goth girl who rarely spoke, yet not as good as Meryl, or Scott or Ricardo, the computer nerds who sometimes spoke in Klingon. Best of all was Charlie, a senior who was Harvard-bound.

Mr. Dig really stunk at Chess, but he was a lot of fun.

As Tudge had mentioned, Mr. Dig took them all for pizza after every Match. On the Saturday night before Halloween, there was a big Match with a school in the neighboring district. Mr. Dig piled everyone into the school mini-van late in the afternoon, and they returned triumphant and full of pizza close to midnight. Gordo crashed at Tudge's house that night.

It had been a fun evening, but the best thing about it was that it took Gordo's mind off all the Halloween parties he had not been invited to. Monday in school he heard that Lizzie and Brett had gone to a party dressed as Adam and Eve. From what he understood, their costumes consisted of strategically placed silk leaves and plastic fruits. Gordo's imagination went wild, and he wondered how Lizzie's mom had let her out of the house like that. He burned with jealousy.

He and Tudge were becoming good friends and spent many Saturday afternoons playing chess in the park. Meryl was usually with them, and while she and Tudge challenged each other, Gordo would practice his skateboarding moves.

On occasion Gordo found himself distracted when he noticed Meryl distracting Tudge by blowing in his ear. He wished he had somebody to distract him in such a way. He didn't mean AnnaBelle, their strange teammate who sometimes joined them for a few games and sat next to him humming an annoying tune that sounded more like the Death March than anything else. He wouldn't have minded Meryl blowing in his ear, but Tudge continually reminded him where the lines were drawn regarding his Merry.

No, Gordo still wanted Lizzie. Despite the fact that the Three Musketeers weren't happening, and in fact he had not even spoken with her since her short phone call of apology the night of the Mall Disaster, he still wanted Lizzie.

-

Gordo had become comfortable enough with Tudge to tell him how he felt about Lizzie. He swore Tudge to secrecy, and Tudge swore he never breathed a word of it, yet after than Meryl suddenly became very interested in setting up their pal Gordon with any number of her friends.

It was football season, and Meryl loved football, so she would drag Tudge and Gordo along with her to school games, also inviting one of her girlfriends. These girls were mostly artsy, intellectual types, and some of them were actually pretty cute. Gordo thought he might be able to go for any one of them, except for one thing. As they sat in the stands, instead of cheering on the team or talking to his date, Gordo could not draw his eyes away from the cheerleaders…one cheerleader in particular, who looked exceptionally cute and sexy in her short pleated skirt, shaking her pom poms in the school colors. Afterwards, if they went out to eat, Gordo was so depressed, he would more often than not claim a stomachache and leave early.

-

During this time, Nicole in History class was paying quite a bit of attention to him. Gordo could tell at first that she felt sorry for him after what had happened in the Mall, and she kept asking "Are you okay?" which was actually pretty annoying and embarrassing. As time went on though, she eased up, and they began again to revisit their shared enthusiasm for the 1960's.

When Mr. Damion assigned "War" as a topic for group study and presentation, both Gordo and Nicole flew like magnets to the Vietnam War. There were three other students in their group, but as Gordo and Nicole showed the most interest in the topic, the other were glad to hang back and let them take charge. They worked together often in class, and sometimes on Sunday afternoons.

One Sunday, Nicole invited the group to her house to watch movies about the Vietnam War. All five were there for "Apocalypse Now" but two left before "Born on the Fourth of July." By the time they were watching "The Deer Hunter" only Nicole and Gordo remained, side by side on the couch, sharing the bottom of a huge bowl of popcorn.

It was fun hanging out with Nicole (despite the serious nature of the movies they were watching). Gordo could tell Nicole liked him, but he also sensed that something was causing her to hold back. Every time Nicole got close to saying something flirtatious---all that Chess was training him to anticipate what might be coming next---she would suddenly stop and become very quiet. Gordo wondered what could be going on with her, but he didn't wonder too hard, because his mind was still so preoccupied with thoughts of Lizzie.

Sometimes Miranda called him, and at last he felt comfortable enough to tell her what was going on with his feelings about Lizzie. Miranda was understanding and extremely helpful. Mostly she just listened, and occasionally asked questions like, "Well, how do you feel about that?" Gordo would laugh and ask, "Have you been taking psychiatrist lessons from my parents?"

-

Finally, something magical began to happen. As November wore on, quickly approaching Thanksgiving, not only was Gordo's skateboarding ollie ready for Adam's approval, but he also thought he might be able to imagine himself telling his cousin, "You know, you were right. Lizzie is not the only fish in the sea."

Gordo frequently saw Lizzie and Brett (or "Brat," as he secretly thought of him) hanging around school, but somehow now it didn't hurt quite as much as it used to. Either his talks with Miranda and Tudge were starting to do some good, or perhaps he was simply growing numb. But at the same time it became easier to see Lizzie and Brett, he also noticed that he was looking forward more and more to seeing Nicole in History class each day. One day she wasn't there, and he felt keenly aware of a void in the classroom.

He wondered how he would feel when she returned the next day. But she didn't return the next day, and he felt worse, wondering where she could be. That night he called Miranda and in the middle of their conversation casually asked, "So, how's Nicole?"

It turned out she had the flu. Gordo felt terrible, imagining her sick. By the end of the week he decided to call her and offered to share his notes on the work she had missed. They talked for a while and it was nice. That night he didn't think of Lizzie at all.

On Monday Nicole returned to school, looking a little pale. Gordo gave her xeroxed copies of his class notes, to which he had added smiley faces and sideline comments for her amusement. He also asked if she wanted to get together at lunchtime so they could go over the notes…"in case you can't understand my handwriting or something."

They met at lunchtime and barely discussed the notes at all. On Tuesday they tried again, but again, of all the things they talked about, what had happened in class was at the very bottom of the list.

Gordo realized he had gone almost 48 hours without thinking of Lizzie.

-

That evening, Nicole phoned her friend Miranda and asked straightout, "Is Dave seeing anyone?"

It tool Miranda a moment to comprehend. She still thought of Gordo as Gordo. "No!" she exclaimed. "Not that I know of. Why do you ask?"

"Sometimes I've seen him with different girls, like at the football games---"

"Oh, them. They're nobody," Miranda assured. "Friends of friends. Why do you ask?"

"Do you think he's getting over Lizzie?"

"Do you?" Miranda asked, in her best psychiatrist mode.

"I think he seems a little happier lately," Nicole observed.

"I think so too!" Miranda agreed. "We've been having some good talks lately, and it seems I'm hearing less and less about Lizzie and more and more about you."

"Really?" Nicole asked, hopefully. "About me?"

"Yes, really," Miranda grinned.

Nicole made a noise something like a squeal. "I've had lunch with him these last two days," she said. "And I think I'm getting some signs---"

"Nikki!" Miranda exclaimed in delight. Then, "Oh, crap! Someone's trying to ring through. Hold on."

Miranda put Nicole on hold, then answered the other line. "Hello?"

"Hello, Miranda?"

"Gordo!"

"Hey, how's it going? You got a minute?"

"I might," Miranda said. "Why?"

"I wanted to ask you something."

"Ask me something about what?"

"About Nicole."

"Hold on, Gordo. I'll be right back." Miranda put Gordo on hold, then went back to Nicole. "It's Gordo! It's Dave!" she whispered, as if he could hear them through the line. "He's asking about you!"

"Is he really?"

"Yes, yes! Do you want to hold on?"

"No, no! Talk to him, then call me when you're done. Better yet, tell him to call me."

"Okay. Bye."

Miranda went back to Gordo. "Hi there!" she said. "What's up?"

"Well, that's kind of what I want to ask you," Gordo said. "You seems to know Nicole pretty well, and the last few days I feel like maybe I'm getting some signs from her---"

"Oh, crap!" Miranda said.

"What?"

"Somebody's ringing through. My parents are out! I have to answer it, it may be them. Don't go anywhere, Gordo. I'll be right back."

Miranda put Gordo on hold, fully expecting to hear her mom or dad on the other line, but before she could even get out her "hello," her ears were assaulted by loud, uncontrollable weeping.

"Who is it?" she asked. "Who is this? What's wrong?"

"Miran…Miran…Miranda!"

"Lizzie? Lizzie, what happened?"

There was more crying, but no words.

"Lizzie, did something happen?"

"Y….Y….Yes!" she bawled.

"What happened? Is it your family? Did something happen in your family?"

"No…." she sniffed.

"Then what? Who? Is it Brett? Did something happen to Brett?"

There was fresh weeping.

"What is it? What happened?" Miranda asked hysterically. "Is he okay? Is he hurt?"

"N…no…not hurt. It's…it's….he broke up with me!"

Miranda sighed, understanding completely. "Oh, Lizzie…"

As Lizzie continued to weep without words, Miranda understood she was going to be a long time on the phone with her best friend. Remembering Gordo on the other line, she said, "Lizzie, I have to get rid of another call. Hang on, I'll be right back, okay?'

She heard Lizzie sniffling before she clicked over to Gordo.

"Oh hey!" she said. "Gordo. Listen…something's come up, I can't talk right now."

"Is everything okay?" Gordo asked, hearing the edge in her voice.

"Oh, yeah, yeah," she said in that tone that he knew meant everything was not okay.

"Who was on the other line?" he asked. "Was it your parents?"

"No."

"Is everything okay?" he asked again, wondering if this time he might get the truth. "Who was on the other line?"

"Just a friend. A friend who's got a problem, something she needs to talk about."

Gordo considered for a moment. He was a friend with a problem he needed to talk about. What friend was taking precedence over him? What friend---

"Is it Lizzie?" he asked suddenly.

"Why would you say that?" Miranda asked, her voice extremely high pitched.

"It was Lizzie, wasn't it? What's happened to Lizzie? Miranda, you have to tell me. Miranda…"

"Oh…" Miranda moaned. She was not very good at keeping secrets.

"Is it Brett?" Gordo asked, voicing his worst fears. "Did he do something to Lizzie? Miranda, you have to tell me."

"Oh!" she exclaimed again. "Gordo, you can't tell anyone. She only just told me. Brett broke up with her. She's hysterical crying. I have to talk to her, I have to try to calm her down. I'll call you later, Gordo, okay? You understand, right? Gordo? Gordo?"

But Gordo was no longer on the line. By this time he was out his front door and running down the block towards Lizzie's house.


	7. Chapter 7

_This scene wrote itself in my head and clawed at me all day until I set it free. I hope it explains to everyone's satisfaction why Gordo took off so quickly when he heard Lizzie was in distress._

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_I'm also glad to see some of you supporting the Gordo/Nicole storyline. I personally like her, and if I can make the readers like her too, then I must be doing something right!_

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_Thanks for all the comments! Especially to green aura for "God you're amazing." That made my day!_

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_This chapter may be a tough one for some diehard L/G fans. Please let me know what you think! And thanks for reading._

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-

_What the hell am I doing?_ Gordo asked himself as he hurried down the block towards Lizzie's house. No doubt the Pavlovian Response had kicked in: Lizzie was in distress, he ran to help. It had been that way since kindergarten. Would some things never change?

_But what the hell ELSE am I doing? _ he wondered. Was he thinking of Lizzie? Or possibly about himself? Could it be he was the worst kind of predator, the kind that lay in wait for the female of the species to be left alone and helpless before swooping in to make the kill? Did he really think now was the appropriate time to declare his love?

Why was he not able to let go of the dream of Lizzie? Especially now, when Nicole was no doubt giving him signs. It had been five months since Lizzie had given any sign. Nicole was practically a sure thing, and he really liked her. Lizzie was a long shot…yet he had to take the chance. He had to know.

_How many times have I been over this!_ he scolded himself, rounding the corner of the McGuire's street. She had kissed him on the rooftop in Italy last June. Surely that was a sign. But after that, nothing. Zilch. Zip. Nada. The Big Goose Egg. What did it mean? Sure, he had neglected to respond appropriately, but she also had not dropped any further hints. Could it be he had misinterpreted that kiss? Or was there still even the slightest chance for them…especially now that Brett was out of the picture? He had to know.

Gordo flew up the path to Lizzie's house, taking the decorative stone pavers four to a stride. In seventh grade he could only do three at a time. Mixed in with all his other crazy thoughts was the realization that he must be getting taller. This made him feel stronger. He knocked steadily on the McGuire's front door.

"Gordo!" Sam McGuire greeted. "Hey, fella! Long time no see."

"Hi, Mr. McGuire," Gordo said politely. "Is Lizzie home?"

"Jo, look who it is. Gordo!"

Jo McGuire came in from the kitchen, wiping her hands on a towel. "Hi there, Gordo. Look at you! Getting taller, I see."

"I guess," Gordo said, trying not to sound impatient. "Is Lizzie home?"

Jo McGuire's face fell as she said, "Yes, she is, Gordo. She's up in her room. I'm afraid she won't be very good company, though. It seems---"

"I know," Gordo said. "I heard all about it."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "News travels fast, doesn't it?"

"I came to see if there's anything I can do to help, to make her feel better," Gordo said. "Even if it's just to listen…"

"Aren't you a sweetheart," Jo said with a sad smile. "Lizzie always used to say what a good listener you were. And so calm and logical in a crisis. I think that might be exactly what she needs right now. An old friend, but a good friend. Go on up, Gordo."

"Be warned, though," Sam said, taking Gordo to the side. "There will be tears. Lots and lots of female tears. Are you tough enough to take it, buddy?"

Gordo nodded. "I'm tough enough," he said, but to some extent this felt like false bravado.

-

He climbed the stairs. The upstairs hallway was dark and quiet. He loved the way the McGuire house smelled. Some things would never change. And that was good.

He stood outside Lizzie's door, listening a moment before knocking. He could hear Lizzie talking, but there was no weeping. Pulling himself up to his full height, he knocked on the door.

"No, Mother!" Lizzie called. "I do not want a cup of tea, and I do not want any chicken noodle soup!"

"Neither do I," Gordo said. "It's not your mother. It's me, Gordo. I just want to see you for a minute, Lizzie."

"Gordo?" she asked in surprise. "Hey, come on in."

Gordo opened the door. The room was dark, except for the glowing pink and orange blobs in the lava lamps on Lizzie's dresser. Lizzie lay on her bed, the phone to her ear.

"Hey, Miranda," she said. "You've been so helpful. Thanks a bunch. I'm gonna let you go, though. Gordo's here."

"Gordo's _there_!"

From clear across the room Gordo could hear Miranda's exclamation.

"Yeah," Lizzie said. "So I'll see you in school tomorrow. Thanks again. Bye."

Lizzie clicked off the phone and lay it on the bed beside her. She looked at her 'old friend but good friend' and said, "Gordo. What are you doing here?"

"I heard," he said simply, stepping slowly into the room. "I heard about you and Brett. I just wanted to see if there was anything I could do."

Lizzie turned sideways on the bed, sighing deeply. "What can you do? What can anybody do? It's over…I'm a fool…and that's that. There's nothing anybody can do."

Gordo had made his way to the bed, but felt strange about sitting down on it. He did anyway.

"I can listen," he said gently. "I can be a friend."

For some reason, these words, which were supposed to help her feel better, made her feel much worse instead. Within thirty seconds she passed from melancholy to the threat of tears to full-fledged bawling in her pillow.

Gordo reached out and put his hand on her back. He felt miserable, and he now knew for certain he had been deceiving both Lizzie's father and himself when he said he was tough enough to take it.

"Lizzie…Lizzie…" he pleaded, his heart breaking for her and with her. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and tried to think of something calm and logical to say.

"I know it hurts now. But it won't always hurt. Every day will get a little easier…" His own words sounded trite in his ears, but it was the best he could do. He felt so inadequate.

"Oh, it's not even that!" Lizzie sobbed. "Screw Brett! That jackass! That prick! I don't care about him. I wish I had never met him. I'm crying because…because…"

Here she turned over, wiped her eyes, and tried to control herself as she continued, "I'm crying because you _are_ my friend, Gordo, and you always have been and always will be, and I've been treating you like crap lately. Ever since I met Brett, it's like…it's like I don't know who I am anymore. And when I look back at how I acted when I was with him…I blew off friends because he didn't like them…I started cursing quite a lot, you might have noticed…and I even wore that ridiculous costume at Halloween because he wanted me to…"

"I heard about that," Gordo said. "How did you ever get past your mom and dad?"

"I didn't," Lizzie said. "I left the house in my old clown suit, you remember the one from the Fright Night party at middle school? Afterwards, I changed. Kate and Claire actually helped adhere everything to my body."

"You're hanging out with Kate and Claire now?" Gordo asked dubiously.

"See what I mean?" Lizzie cried. "Who am I? I don't even know anymore."

Gordo took a moment to let his mind catch up. It appeared the conversation could be going in his favor. He weighed his next words before he said, "It's no secret that Brat and I don't like each other---"

"Brat?"

"I mean Brett. Brett and I don't like each other. Still, I'm not going to say anything against the guy. But I think you're right. I think you're better off without him. Friends…and boyfriends and girlfriends…should help you be who you really are, not make you mold yourself into something you're not."

"Like you, Gordo," Lizzie said with a sad smile. "With you I can always be exactly who I really am."

Gordo returned the sad smile, wishing he knew exactly what to say. At a loss for words, he was at least bold enough to take her hand in his.

Lizzie put her other hand over his, her two hands playing absently with his one as she thoughtfully revealed, "But everybody else in the world is not as accepting of me as you are, Gordo. Everybody else doesn't love me as much as you do. When I meet a guy, I'm afraid sometimes that if I am who I really am, they may not like me. Sometimes I feel like I must have a disease or something. Guys attach on to me---guys like Ronnie, and Brett---then once they get to know me, really know me…it's 'Good bye, Lizzie.'"

She sniffled as she said, "There must be something wrong with me."

"Oh my God, Lizzie! There's nothing wrong with you," Gordo said with certainty as he put his other hand into the mix. "You are beautiful, Lizzie. Inside and out. You don't have a disease. And if some guy can't appreciate you for who you really are, that's his loss, not yours. And besides, not all guys are like that. Decent guys are not like that. I'm not like that. Look how long we've known each other and everything we've been through, and you haven't scared me away yet. I'm still here. And I always will be."

Lizzie smiled at him through her tears. "I know that, Gordo. I know I can always depend on you, and that means so much to me."

Gordo was loving what he was hearing. This was a good sign. However, his hands began to sweat, so he took them away. Yet now, boldly, he placed one on each side of Lizzie on the bed, leaning over her, gazing into her eyes. He wanted so much to kiss away her tears. He leaned closer with every intention of brushing his lips across her tearstained cheeks, but somehow instead his lips ended up directly on hers.

He closed his eyes, holding his lips on hers a moment longer than was perhaps proper under the circumstances, thinking, _This feels so awesome…_

Lizzie went stiff with shock. When Gordo let her go, she laughed nervously and asked, "What was that for?"

Gordo took a deep breath, steadying himself. "I owed you one," he said. "For Italy. For the rooftop."

Gordo had rendered her speechless. All tears were gone as well. She could only stare at him in surprise.

"Now we're even," Gordo smiled down at her, imagining this must be what it felt like to be intoxicated.

Lizzie nodded, but still could not speak.

In the silence that followed this moment, they could hear Lizzie's mother downstairs calling Matt to watch his favorite TV show. She sounded so far away. Gordo felt he and Lizzie were so alone. He felt good!

So he kissed her again, and this time there was no doubt Mr. And Mrs. McGuire would not approve if they knew what was going on.

Lizzie pulled her lips away from Gordo's and again sounded that nervous little laugh. "And what was _that_ for?" she asked, pulling herself up on the bed into a sitting position.

Dizzied by the kiss, Gordo answered without hesitation, "That…is because I love you, Lizzie McGuire."

He gazed at her, resting his head on her knees, which she had pulled up against her body.

"Oh, Gordo, that is so sweet," she said, smiling weakly. "And you know that I love you too. And I'll always love you. But…"

And there they were, the three most dreaded words known to a lovesick soul…

"…as a _friend_…"

The balloon Gordo had been soaring in was pierced by her words, rapidly deflated, and sent him crashing to the ground.

"What?" he asked stupidly. Now he was the one in shock.

"You've been so good to me, Gordo," Lizzie said. "For so long. About everything. And you'll always be part of my life, I think. No matter how old we get, or how far away we travel, and that's something that I'll treasure… I'll always treasure…far, far more than…than…"

Gordo stared at her as she continued to babble for some undetermined amount of time about the eternal value of friendship, but the only part he really heard was the last few words, when she said, "And I almost wish the feeling was there…but it's not."

"It's not?" he repeated, dumbfounded.

Lizzie shook her head. She looked like she was going to cry again. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"But it was there!" Gordo said suddenly. "In the fourth grade. You had a crush on me in the fourth grade."

"Gordo. That was fourth grade."

"But…but…last summer, in Italy, when you kissed me. What was that all about? And before that, at that crazy costume party-thing we had here at your house. I've thought it all through so many times and I'm convinced…I'm convinced…"

"I was…I was…I don't know!" Lizzie said desperately. "I was so confused. Then I thought: well, maybe…I wasn't sure. It was like…I can't explain it, Gordo. My feelings were so jumbled. But then the summer, and then school started, and…and…and everything changed…"

Lizzie shrugged apologetically.

"But…but…" Gordo insisted, his mind racing to find some way to turn this around. "How do you know it's not _now_ that your feelings are jumbled? I mean, after all, you're just coming off two months of dating the biggest jerk in school. That has to have messed up your emotional barometer a bit. If things changed, they can always change back, can't they? Maybe if you take some time to think about it…maybe if you let me kiss you one more time…"

He was moving closer, trying to get his arms around her, trying to give her one more kiss, but she wrapped her own arms around her knees and dropped her head, saying "Gordo. Don't."

"Don't?" he exclaimed. "Why not? Lizzie, you've got to give me a chance. Let's just try one more kiss---"

"Gordo," she said. "I already told you I love you. As a friend. Even almost as a brother. And you kissing me just now, it was just…too weird. Almost like a brother…"

Gordo stared at her in bitter astonishment. "UGH!" he cried, feeling sick to his stomach.

"Oh, Gordo! I'm so sorry---"

"You know what, Lizzie?" he said, suddenly getting up off the bed. "Why don't you just stick a knife in my chest while you're at it?"

"Gordo!"

"Twist it around a little…"

"Gordo! Please…"

Now she was crying again, but he didn't care. Forget the knife. His heart suddenly felt so hard, he doubted anything could penetrate it. He walked towards the door, wanting nothing more than to get out of this room. But as he listened to Lizzie's pathetic crying, he felt compelled to turn around and say something extremely mean.

"Well, one good thing, Lizzie. No matter how miserable you feel tonight, you can take solace in the fact that there is someone else who feels a lot worse than you do at this very moment. Me."

He looked at her, hating her as much as he loved her, then said with absolute disgust, "Thanks a lot, Lizzie McGuire."

Gordo left that room without looking back. He bounded down the stairs and through the McGuire's front door, slamming it behind him. The cool November night air hit his face and stung his eyes, which were just now beginning to fill with tears.


	8. Chapter 8

_Here is a chapter of pure_ _angst_. _Thankfully, it's on the short side. I didn't intend to go on even this long, but noneforgranted requested I don't skimp on the details, so I detailed the angst. I promise I won't keep Gordo in the pit forever. I do believe in happy endings,_ _though there may yet be some more complications before this is all over._

_I love all your comments! Please keep them coming! Green aura, I would like to answer your questions about Lizzie at a party, but I'm a little confused. Would you please clarify?_

_As for my NaNo, it is not a fanfiction, and my hope is to someday attempt to publish it. Should that ever happen, I would be sure to let absolutely everybody in the world know about it!_

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Lizzie spent the first half of that night crying about Brett, and the remainder of it crying about Gordo. She didn't know which was worse---the way Brett had hurt her, or the way she had hurt Gordo.

The next day at school she looked terrible, her face swollen from too many tears, eyes bleary from lack of sleep. And she could not smile. No matter how much she tried, it hurt too much.

She saw Gordo before second period, going into his History class, like she always did. She approached him slowly, cautiously, noticing that he had that same puffy look about him that she had seen in the mirror that morning.

Hi, Gordo…" she began gently.

He shot her a death stare. "Don't even get near me," he said, pushing through the crowd into his classroom.

Man! He wished this day was over already. First Lizzie, and now here was Nicole, giving him a sad look with her big green eyes. He remembered how annoyed he had been by her persistent "Are you okay?" after the Mall Disaster. It appeared now that she might start that again. How much did she know? And _how_ did she know?

That's right: Miranda, the Gossipmonger. If Lizzie talked to Miranda, Miranda no doubt talked to Nicole. Gordo could have no secrets from any of them. He hated Miranda!

No, he didn't actually hate Miranda. But he wasn't feeling entirely happy with himself at the moment. Yesterday at this time he had been excited about the idea of asking Nicole to go out with him. Today he felt ashamed, as if he had been cheating on her. Why would she want to go out with him if she thought that every time Lizzie stubbed her toe or bat her eyelashes he would run to her side? Not that he was going to do _that_ anymore. Lizzie had made herself crystal clear. There was no hope. But in finding that out, Gordo was afraid he had ruined his chances with Nicole.

_Well, that's all right,_ he decided. _She deserves better than me anyway…_

But at the end of class, Nicole walked directly over to Gordo and said straight-out, "Would you like to have lunch with me today?"

This shocked Gordo so much, but also made him feel more unworthy than ever. As he floundered for an answer, Nicole put on her big eyes and asked, "Is everything okay, Dave?"

"Yes," he lied, then, "No, I mean no. I mean, not the best. And no…I don't think lunch is a good idea today." She would want to talk, as girls always did, and he didn't want to talk. Not yet. He just wanted to be left alone so he could go home and go to sleep.

"I understand," Nicole said in a way that made it clear to Gordo that she already knew too much. Again he felt guilty and unworthy. He tried to move past her quickly so they wouldn't have to drag out this conversation for too long, but Nicole walked with him and said, "Well, maybe we could hang out over the weekend. Did you want to see the new Matrix movie?"

Gordo stared at her in disbelief. Was she asking him out on a date? Did she have no self-respect? Or did she really like him that much?

When he didn't answer for a while, Nicole suddenly took his hand and spread it out flat, using a blue pen to write on the palm of his hand."Here's my phone number," she said. "So you won't forget."

_Forget?_ Didn't she realize he had committed her phone number to memory weeks ago? He couldn't forget it if he wanted to.

"Well, I gotta go," Nicole said. "Call me."

This was the only bright spot in an otherwise miserable day. Everything else that day seemed a blur, except for the familiar phone number on his left hand.

It was such a relief to finally be walking home. This was the beginning of the long Thanksgiving weekend. He was glad Uncle Martin, Aunt Suzie and Adam would be coming for a visit, but he didn't want to talk to anyone from school for at least 48 hours. Unless he made the decision to call Nicole. He still wasn't sure if he would. It was much too difficult to see anything clearly from this far down in the pit.

-

"Davey, dear!" his mother called the moment he walked in the house. "Lizzie just phoned. I told her you would call her back."

"Mom!" he pounced. "Don't tell her things like that! Don't tell anybody things like that! I'll decide who I'll call back."

Oops. There was that look on his mother's face. "Did you and Lizzie have a fight, dear?" she asked compassionately.

Gordo sighed. Now he was in for "the treatment." The psychological treatment.

"Yes," Gordo said. "And don't even go there, Mom. I don't want to talk about it. I'll come to you when _and if_ I want to talk about it. In the meantime, I'm going to my room to catch up on some sleep. I don't want to talk to anyone, okay? If anybody calls, tell them I'm 'indisposed' or whatever you want to say. Tell them I moved to Siberia. But do not tell them I will call them back. Got it?"

Mrs. Gordon might have scolded her son for being so snippy, but overwhelmed with the impression that he was in serious emotional pain, she chose instead to walk across the room and give him a big hug.

That was almost worse than a scolding, because it transformed his anger into the threat of tears, and Gordo certainly wasn't going to cry in front of his mother at this point. He clinched his eyes tightly and wondered if he could spit out an "I'm sorry" without his voice cracking.

"Aunt Suzie and Uncle Martin are on the road now with Adam, on their way down from Berkeley," Mrs. Gordon said, wisely relieving the emotional moment with talk of family business. "They should arrive by seven or eight. Suzie and I will be doing some baking tonight. I've put extra sheets and pillows in your room to make up the sofa for Adam. Or you can take the sofa if you want to be a good host. I'll let you boys work it out on your own."

"Thanks, Mom," Gordo managed today, then left the room without looking at her.

-

He went directly to his bedroom and fell onto his pillows, sighing deeply. This was going to be a lousy Thanksgiving. The only good part would be getting to hang out with Adam and hear about college life, which he couldn't wait to get to.

He heard the phone ring and wondered who it was. Several minutes passed and he could not get anywhere near sleep. He heard the phone ring again, and he felt more tense than before. Maybe it was Nicole. Maybe he should talk to her. Maybe he was being stupid. _Duh…_

Slowly sleep began to play with the idea of taking over, when his nerves jumped, startling him out of a half-dream. Gordo suddenly he realized he had been thinking and/or dreaming of Lizzie for some time. Was he ever going to be able to get Lizzie out of his mind? How long was this going to hurt? He remembered the trite words he had recited to her yesterday: _I know it hurts now. But it won't always hurt. Every day it will get a little easier…_

Ha! What a bunch of crap!

Gordo bolted from the bed and began scouring the room, looking for signs of Lizzie. He tore photographs, pulled her CD's from the shelf, threw the stuffed zebra she had given him as a birthday present in second grade into the deepest corner of his closet. At last he sat down and opened his wallet, removing the folded postcard he had been carrying around with him since July.

"Dance Camp rocks!" appeared in Lizzie's large, round script. "Miranda and I are learning how to 'exude feminine grace, charm and confidence!' You won't recognize us when we get back!"

Gordo smirked. _I'll say…_ Nothing was the same after last summer.

He deliberately tore the postcard in half, then in half again, then in half again, then yet again, until there was nothing left but confetti.

Then he laid down on the bed, put his head deep in his pillow and cried until sleep finally won the battle.


	9. Chapter 9

_I love writing Adam!_

_Anyway, hope you all like this chapter, and by the way, finishing up in ten chapters is not happening after all._

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Disorientated, Gordo woke several hours later to noises in his room and a whispered exclamation of "Ouch!"

Gordo lifted his head. "Dad?" As smart as his father was, he could never maneuver successfully in the dark.

"No, it's me, Adam," came the distinct, familiar voice. "I'm trying not to wake you."

"Too late," Gordo said. "Here. Wait." He leaned across to the nightstand and turned on a decorative lamp that threw swirls of color around the room. "Better?"

"At least I won't stub my toe again. What was that, anyway? Ah! The old skateboard. So you have been practicing."

"A little," Gordo said. "I can do the ollie now. Most of the time."

He watched the shadow of his cousin move around the room. Adam removed his wristwatch and found a flat surface to lay it on, then made his way cautiously to the sofa, where he threw himself down with an exhausted sigh.

Gordo looked at his clock and noticed it was almost midnight. "How long have you been here?" he asked Adam.

"It was almost eight when we got in," Adam said. "I've been downstairs, helping in the kitchen."

Gordo laughed. "Licking the spoons?"

"Hey! Somebody's got to do it!" Adam reasoned. "Can't you smell it?"

Gordo took a deep whiff. "Pumpkin pie?"

"Two of them."

"What else?"

"Apple pie. Rice pudding. And some kind of ambrosia stuff," Adam informed.

Gordo moaned. "Rice pudding…" Maybe it wasn't going to be such a bad Thanksgiving after all, with his mom preparing his favorite comfort foods.

"So what's up with you anyway?" Adam asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Asleep since four o'clock? Your mom said it was 'girl trouble.'"

"Thanks, Mom," Gordo said sarcastically.

"Would that girl be the famous Lizzie McGuire I'm always hearing so much about?" Adam wondered.

The room was dark enough, and it was late enough that at last Gordo felt he might be able to talk about everything that had him so depressed. Besides, this was Adam. If he couldn't talk to him, then who could he talk to?

The great thing about talking to Adam was that Gordo knew none of what he said might "accidentally leak" to anyone in school, thus setting off a cascade of gossip and rumors. So he spilled his guts for the better part of an hour.

Gordo lay on his bed, staring at the swirling colors on the ceiling as he talked and talked. For the longest time he heard only his own voice, so eventually he lifted his head and looked at Adam laying on the sofa and said, "Dude! Are you still awake?"

"Oh, yeah," Adam said. "I'm just thinking about a lot of stuff, remembering a lot of stuff. Something similar happened to me once. Unrequited love…it sucks! I feel for you."

"So what did you do?" Gordo asked .. "I mean, how did you get past it?"

"There's not much you can do," Adam said, "except let Time do its little magic trick of healing all wounds."

"Every day will be a little bit easier?" Gordo asked, his voice tinged with cynicism.

"I know it's hard to believe that now," Adam said. "But believe me, it works. And in your case, it sounds like you may have some ointment to put on this wound to help it heal faster."

"What do you mean?"

"This girl Nicole you've mentioned several times already," Adam said. "It sounds like she really digs you."

Gordo scoffed. "Yeah, but for how long? If I keep acting like a jerk, like I have been, I'm gonna blow that too."

"Well, there's an easy solution to this problem," Adam suggested. "Quit acting like a jerk."

"And how do I do that?"

"Well, for one thing, you've got to ask her out."

"Yeah…but…" Gordo said uneasily, "what if she turns me down? I don't think I could handle that kind of rejection, coming so soon after that whole big thing with Lizzie."

"Davey! Didn't you tell me she gave you her phone number?"

"Yeah," Gordo said, holding up his hand and looking at the numbers in the dim light of his room. "She wrote it on my hand."

Adam sat up suddenly. "Did you just say she wrote her phone number on your hand? What are you --- mental? What could possibly make you think she would turn you down after she wrote her phone number _on your freakin' hand?_"

"I don't know!" Gordo exclaimed. His doubts did sound pretty ridiculous when Adam put it that way.

Adam sighed, practically laughing. "You know, Davey, you are a pretty smart kid, most of the time. But it's not doing you any good when it comes to the ladies." Adam lay down again and said, "Now tell me about this Nicole. Let's start with…what does she look like?"

Gordo described Nicole's long straight hair, her greenish eyes, her sometimes crooked smile, and he found himself smiling as he thought about it. Adam asked what was the best thing about her. She's smart, Gordo said. And funny, sometimes... the subtle kind of funny that he enjoyed, but other people might not even pick up on. But she wasn't always funny, because she held very serious and passionate opinions about certain issues, like gun control and world hunger.

"An activist, hmmm?" Adam said, thinking about a certain girl he was currently intrigued by.

"She's just politically very very sure of where she stands," Gordo said.

"As are you," Adam pointed out.

"We're very alike," Gordo realized.

"And that's a good thing?"

"I don't know," Gordo said. "To a certain extent I think it is. I know they say that opposites attract, but I'm not sure how true that is. I mean they do attract, but in the long run is it really going to work out? What do you think?"

"About opposites?" Adam said. "Why? Who's your opposite? Would that be Lizzie?"

Adam had sparked a whole new train of thought and Gordo was at it again, analyzing and reasoning through "Lizzie vs. Nicole" and which one would be a better match for him. Refreshed from his long nap, Gordo felt he could travel on this train for hours, but when he checked with Adam this time, there was no reply but a restless snore.

Gordo didn't know how long he had been talking to himself, but now that he was aware, he felt foolish to go on. Yet the debate continued in his head, even as he ventured out of his room, ravenously hungry in the middle of the night, and raided the fridge, helping himself to some of tomorrow's rice pudding.

Food made him feel better. Having Adam here made him feel better. He looked at Nicole's phone number on his hand, and that definitely made him feel better. He made a decision. He was going to call her.

-

-

The next day was all about family. Gordo enjoyed seeing his favorite aunt and uncle, and he and Adam also had a chance to catch up on everything, not just the drama in his own life. Adam provided picturesque details all about college life, which sounded great, but made Gordo all the more anxious to get there himself.

While the turkey was cooking, the "boys" had a chance to go down to the park and work on their skateboarding. Adam had brought along his new board, knowing he and Davey would have plenty of time to continue their lessons.

After a fabulous meal, they joined their dads in the living room, watching football. Then, it was time for desert. After that, they took a leisurely skateboarding trek (no tricks) down to the video store, where they rented a few movies and video games. The rest of the day was spent indoors, eating leftovers while they watched and played till practically two in the morning.

Gordo set his alarm clock for ten a.m. No matter how tired he was, he didn't want the day to slip away without calling Nicole. Earlier in the week, when they had lunched together, Nicole explained her Thanksgiving plans to Gordo by briefly singing "Over the river and through the woods to Grandmother's house we go!" Gordo wasn't sure exactly where that was, but he had the impression she would be out all day. He wanted to catch her early, but not too early, on Friday. Ten o'clock sounded like a reasonable time to call.

On the first call, he spoke with a child, who informed Gordo that his sister was in the shower. Gordo told him to tell Nicole that Dave had called. An hour passed. Gordo called again. This time he got Nicole's mother, who said Nicole had just left for the mall. Did she get his message? What message? Who did he leave a mesage with? Justin? Tsk! That kid never relayed messages. Nicole's mother said she was so sorry, and when Nicole called in later this afternoon, she would mention that Dave had called her this morning.

"Bad luck," Adam said. "But you'll hook up with her later. Come on, let's go down the park again."

It was a beautiful day and they spent a good deal of it skateboarding. After a while, Tudge and Meryl appeared at their usual table, playing Chess, and Gordo was happy to introduce his cousin Adam. They all took turns playing chess, and discovered that statistically Adam played better than Tudge or Gordo, but still not as good as Meryl. She was a tough one to beat.

As evening drew close, their stomachs rumbled and they skated home for more Thanksgiving leftovers.

-

"So what will you boys be up to tonight?" Aunt Suzie wondered at the dinner table.

"Davey's going to show me what's fun in this town," Adam told his mother.

Gordo smirked. What was fun in this town? The mall, the movies? Been there, done that.

"So I can use the car, right?" Adam said. "I mean, if you need to go anywhere, Uncle Howie will drive you in his car, right?"

So Adam got the car. Gordo had never been driving with him before. When he visited in New York City, nobody drove cars. As they drove they talked about driving, until suddenly Adam pulled into the empty parking lot of the Food Giant that had closed over a year ago.

"Enough talking," Adam said, turning off the car. "Show me what you can do."

Gordo laughed. "Do about what?"

"About driving. Come on, let's switch seats."

"Are you crazy?" Gordo exclaimed. "You're going to let me drive? Have you forgotten I'm only fourteen?"

"So?" Adam said. "I bet you can already drive better than half the people on the road right now."

"I doubt it," Gordo said.

Which was precisely why Adam was doing this. He knew his cousin needed a confidence booster after all the 'girl trouble' he'd been through, and nothing said manly confidence like four wheels and eight cylinders at your command.

Thus Gordo had his first driving lesson, under the express condition that he not hit anything and he never talk of this to anyone, especially either set of their parents. Adam was as good at teaching driving as he was at teaching skateboarding moves, and happily concluded that his objective of boosting Gordo's self-confidence was easily achieved.

However, later that night, something happened which wiped it all out.


	10. Chapter 10

_First, I have to say thanks for all the great comments! You are all blowing me away and really boosting my self-confidence! I am having such fun with this, and just to let you know, there will indeed by two more chapters after this one, then I have another story fully noted and ready to be written. So I hope you will enjoy that one as much as this one. Now on with the story:_

_-_

Adam wanted to see the new Matrix movie, but Gordo said no, he was saving that for Nicole, for their first date. They decided instead on Scary Movie III.

The Regal Multi-plex was a little further out of town, so Gordo thought he would be safe going there. By "safe," he was thinking he would be less likely to run into anyone he knew. He was still feeling a little shaky after everything he'd been through the last few days, and frankly, he was starting to feel funky, like maybe he was getting sick. It was probably just too much food, and not enough sleep, but all in all he preferred not to see anyone. Especially Lizzie.

Of course, that was the first person he did see.

Waiting in the lobby, he and Adam played a few video games, then got in line for sodas. Everything was fine, then all of the sudden Gordo's face went white. He turned around and ducked behind the fat lady in line ahead of him.

"Dude! What's wrong?" Adam asked.

"It's her," Gordo said.

"It's who?"

"Lizzie."

"Where?"

"Coming down the hall on the left. With two friends."

Adam looked. "I see them. Nice looking girls, all of them. Which one is Lizzie?"

Gordo was still hiding, not looking, but he didn't have to look to be able to describe her. "The blonde, with her hair kind of up, but not really. In the blue sweater. And the silver necklace. And the shiny lips…" He shivered a little, remembering the brief glimpse he'd had of her.

Adam kept watching, a smile beginning to play upon his lips. "So…" he said, now fully grinning. "So…" he repeated. "I can see why you like her so much…"

Gordo said nothing. He could sense Lizzie passing by, and he felt frozen to the spot, hoping she wouldn't see him. What he couldn't see and didn't sense was that Lizzie had caught sight of Adam and didn't know why she couldn't take her eyes off him. Sure, he was a good-looking guy, but there was something else going on here. He looked like…he reminded her of…

Lizzie passed by, still staring at Adam, and he was grinning back at her, until finally it was a little silly and one of them had to say hi.

"Hi," Adam said.

"Hi," Lizzie said.

Gordo cringed behind the fat lady, recognizing both their voices. _Why the hell were they talking to each other?_

Kate stepped up, looked at the guy Lizzie was talking to and decided to get in on the action. "Hi," she said. "Friend of yours, Lizzie?"

"No, I…Sorry," she said to Adam. "You kind of look like someone."

Adam nodded. "I get that all the time."

"Well…bye…" Lizzie said.

"Bye," Adam said.

Gordo held his breath. In a moment, Adam said, "It's okay to come out now."

Gordo turned around, still cautiously hiding, and watched Lizzie, Kate and Claire walking towards the front doors. Lizzie turned around to look back at Adam, and Gordo ducked again.

"Cute girl," Adam said. "And very friendly."

"I think she may have seen a picture of you once or twice," Gordo said.

"Even if she hasn't, or doesn't remember," Adam said, "I'm sure she saw the family resemblance. I think she was looking for you, dude. I think she was hoping to see you."

"Don't even say that," Adam snapped. "Don't get me started again with Lizzie McGuire. I'm trying so hard to get her out of my system. What you're saying isn't helping."

"Sorry," Adam said. "But she is a cute girl."

By the time they were walking into the theatre with their drinks, Gordo had chosen a new theme. Why was Lizzie still hanging out with Kate and Claire? She didn't really like them, she had said she didn't know who she was when she was with them, so why was she still with them? Was she so obsessed with being popular that no matter what happened, she would continue choosing friends based on what they could do for her, and not on whether or not she actually liked them?

"Give her a break," Adam said, taking her side. "She just lost her boyfriend. And one of her lifelong friends."

"She didn't look too broken up about any of it," Gordo said. "In fact, she looked pretty damn good, pretty damn happy, like she was having a great time with Kate and Claire. I don't think she misses me at all. I don't think she cares at all. I think she's a mindless popularity drone."

Adam recognized that Davey had to say things like this to stay angry at Lizzie, otherwise he would be overcome by sadness. He also recognized that laughter was one of the best ways to overcome both anger and sadness, so he said, "Never mind that now. Let's get in to the movie."

The movie was hysterical, and while Gordo was laughing, he wasn't thinking at all about Lizzie, and that felt good. Too bad the movie was so quickly over, and when it was, another surprise awaited Gordo in the theatre lobby.

-

The multi-plex consisted of two long hallways, each containing eight theatres. Gordo and his cousin were emerging from Theatre Four on the left side just as Theatre Ten was letting out on the right side. Amused and contented moviegoers met in the lobby in the middle before approaching the long wall of glass doors which led out into the night.

As they approached the lobby, laughing about something in the movie, Gordo looked up, and feeling so much better, said to Adam, "Hey, look! There's Miranda. You've met Lizzie----well, sort of. You ought to come and meet Miranda too."

"Sure," Adam agreed, as they continued walking towards the lobby.

Suddenly, Gordo turned again and hid.

"What is it this time?" Adam wondered. "You don't see Lizzie again, do you?"

"No," Gordo said, feeling icy cold and hot all over, both at the same time. "It's…it's…" But he couldn't say it.

Adam looked across the lobby and easily picked out the problem. There was the girl Gordo had indicated was Miranda, with a boy on her arm. And directly behind them, a girl who, based on Gordo's detailed description two nights ago, could only be Nicole.

Also with a boy on her arm.

"Oh, God…" Adam moaned. This wasn't fair. How could one guy have so much bad luck with girls? Poor Davey. He stood in front of his cousin, shielding him from possible detection, knowing any confrontation at this point would be entirely too painful.

Gordo leaned against the wall, feeling dizzy and wondering how he could be so hot and so cold at the same time. Didn't that mean he had a fever? Maybe it was only a fever, and he was hallucinating. Maybe he had not actually seen Nicole, his Nicole, walking out of the movies--- and not only that, but apparently out of The Matrix movie, the movie they were supposed to see together--- leaning against a very tall boy. That was it . It was a hallucination. A nightmare. It couldn't possibly really be real.

In a few minutes, Adam turned to him and said, "I don't think she's really with that guy."

"What do you mean? Didn't you see them?"

"Yeah, I saw them, but then you didn't see what happened next. She had something in her shoe. She took off her shoe, she was leaning on him to shake out her shoe. Afterwards, she wasn't leaning on him. She wasn't holding hands with him or anything. They were just walking together."

"'Together' being the operative word," Gordo said heavily.

"I don't think you should jump to conclusions," Adam said. "It might not be as bad as it looks. I think you need to find out what's really happening before you jump to conclusions."

But it was too late. Gordo had already jumped, and he was falling, falling, right back down into the pit. To make matters worse, his throat was starting to feel really scratchy, and that hot and cold feeling would not go away.

"Let's go home," Gordo said miserably. "I just want to go home."


	11. Chapter 11

_I just got a laptop, so suddenly I can do my original composing on the computer, instead of in longhand, so chapters may appear more quickly now. The last chapter may also appear quickly after this one because I am very anxious to begin writing my next story, and I promised myself not to put down a single word of it until this first story is complete. Which it will be very soon!_

_Again I have to say many thanks for all the comments. I got the biggest kick out of ali oldman's "oh my god! oh my god! oh my god!" Also thanks to rice for finally reading my story and having so many nice things to say. Please keep reading!_

_And now on with the story of poor Gordo…_

-

Gordo was sick.

Not the sickest he'd ever been, but sick enough that every movement and every breath was tinged with discomfort. The moment he and Adam walked into the house Friday night, Gordo's mom could see that something was not right with her boy. She took his temperature, gave him medicine and sent him directly to bed.

Adam sat up with Gordo and gently tried to persuade him to talk about what had happened at the movie theatre. Adam knew a broken heart could not cause a fever of 100 degrees, but he wondered how much of Davey's misery was psychological. Davey, however, absolutely refused to talk about anything, and Adam was not about to badger a sick man.

Gordo found he couldn't sleep when he wanted to sleep, yet he couldn't keep from falling asleep when he wanted to stay awake. At three o'clock in the morning he was wide awake, staring at the ceiling, listening to Adam's snoring, and thinking about Nicole.

There were so many questions. How could he have been so wrong about her? Why did she write her phone number on his hand and then go out with some other guy? He thought he knew her better than that. Had she gotten his messages and decided not to call him?

What was so great about that other guy, anyway? So he was tall. Big deal. Nicole had never struck him as the kind of girl who would be impressed by Tall. Maybe Adam was right. Maybe it wasn't as bad as it looked. Maybe he needed to find out exactly what was happening with Nicole.

But what if he found out that she had changed her mind and wasn't interested in him anymore? What if Tall Boy turned out to be much more appealing than Short Smart Guy? Gordo almost preferred not knowing the answers to these questions.

All of Saturday was spent drifting in and out of sleep, pondering these questions as he lay in bed, breathing through his mouth because his nose was too stuffy, which only made his throat hurt more. By nighttime he finally got out of bed and had some turkey soup at the kitchen table. Aunt Suzie had perfected a chicken soup that was guaranteed to cure any cold, and had cooked up a batch of it for her favorite nephew, substituting turkey for chicken, since turkey was more readily available at the moment. It tasted just as good and made him feel a little better.

That night, Gordo and Adam sat in the living room and watched TV for a while, then Adam tried again to get him to talk about what had happened at the movie theatre, but that still was not happening. Gordo spent another restless night reviewing the long list of questions in his head, a list he was too embarrassed to share with anyone, even Adam.

By the next afternoon, though, he would have the answers to all his questions. Miranda got into the picture, and as usual, whenever Miranda got involved, information was forthcoming.

-

"Honey, it's Miranda on the phone!" Mrs. Gordon sang.

From his place on the living room couch, propped up with pillows and blankets, surrounded by crumpled tissues and half full glasses of ginger ale, Gordo continued playing his video game, completely ignoring his mother.

"David," she said, well remembering their last conversation about how his phone calls should be handled. "What would you like me to tell her?"

Gordo made a face. "Tell her I moved to Siberia."

Adam stretched on the other couch and stood up. "Want more soda?" he asked.

Gordo shook his head.

"Well, I do. Be right back."

Adam made a show of going into the kitchen, but as soon as he was around the corner, he motioned to his aunt, saying, "Let me talk to her."

Gordo's mom was confused, but handed over the phone, figuring the boys must have worked up a better story than Siberia.

"Hi," Adam said into the phone. "Is this Miranda?"

"Yes, who is this?"

"This is Davey's cousin, Adam. I know you don't know me, but I want to ask you a favor. I want to ask if you would come over and talk to him. The sooner the better."

"What for? His mom says he's sick. What good is it going to do for me to talk to him?"

Adam made sure that his aunt was well out of earshot, then said into the phone, "It's true he's sick, but I think he's also suffering a broken heart. Do you know a girl named Nicole?"

"Yes, but…?"

"Does this girl Nicole still like him?"

"I…I….I don't get this!" Miranda said. "Who are you again?"

"Don't you live like right down the block? Not far away? Please, Miranda. I don't know what else to do for him. But I think you might be able to tell him something to help him feel better. I know he doesn't want to see anyone, but I think he really needs to talk with you right now."

Miranda hesitated, but only for a moment. She had only a vague idea who Adam was, now remembering Gordo talking about him on several occasions. Mostly, she could hear the concern in his voice. If Gordo needed her, she would be there.

"Twenty minutes," she said. "I have to get dressed first.."

At the Gordon house, the next twenty minutes were hectic, as Adam's parents packed up the trunk of Howard's car, getting ready for a ride to the airport. Goodbyes were said all around. Gordo hugged his aunt and uncle, but no kisses were exchanged, due to his condition.

Aunt Suzie cried as she hugged Adam, distraught over having to leave her son, who she had only gotten to see for a few days. "Ma!" he exclaimed. "Winter Break is right around the corner. Calm down! I'll see you for Hanukah, right?" _Geez, mothers!_ he thought. But he was also already looking forward to being back home for the next holiday.

-

Now all the parents were gone, and here was Miranda, knocking on the front door. Adam answered it, immediately recognizing Miranda from the movie theatre the night before.

Miranda looked at Adam and said "Wow." She was, of course, struck by the family resemblance, but even moreso by his good looks. Was this what Gordo was going to look like in a few years? Maybe she ought to reconsider her position on her dear old pal …

Adam smiled, amused by Miranda's greeting. "Hi," he said. "I'm Adam. Davey's right here in the living room. Don't get too close. He might be contagious. Hey, Davey! Someone's here to see you."

Gordo looked up from his game and frowned. "Didn't my mother tell you I was sick?"

Miranda sat down on the opposite couch. "So?"

"So why doesn't everyone just leave me alone already?"

_Okay_….Miranda thought. _Definitely a problem here_. She glanced up at Adam, who shrugged as if to say, "What did I tell you?" Then Adam went into the kitchen, this time for real, leaving the two friends to talk.

For a few moments, Gordo finished up his game and Miranda watched quietly, wondering how to start. Adam said this had something to do with Nicole. She would start there.

"So, Gordo. Nicole tells me you never did call her this weekend. Why didn't you call her?"

"I did!" Gordo exclaimed. "I called her twice! Why didn't she call me?"

"You called her?" Miranda asked, now confused. She had seen Nicole Friday night and talked to her by phone on Saturday, and she was still asking the same question: Why hasn't Dave called me?

"Yes," Gordo said. "I called, but I didn't talk to her. I left messages."

"You did?"

"Yes, two messages. One with some annoying little kid I'm guessing was her brother and the other with her mom."

"Her mom's been away," Miranda said. "After Thanksgiving she went on to visit her friend in Oregon. Grandma came back to stay with them a few days. You must have talked with her grandmother. She's half senile. She can't remember anything."

"And what's the little brother's excuse?"

Miranda made a "Duh…" face at him. "He's a little brother. What more need be said? You and I have never been blessed with a little brother, but you remember Lizzie's brother Matt…"

Miranda's voice trailed off. Maybe she shouldn't have mentioned Lizzie. Gordo showed no response, though. He just continued playing his game, his face hard and expressionless.

After a while Miranda said, "Nicole is home today. Maybe you should call her again."

Gordo laughed derisively. "What for?" he said. "Why would she want to talk to me? From what I can tell, it looks like she's already found someone new."

"WHAT are you talking about?" Miranda demanded.

"I'm talking about who she was with at the movies the other night. What movie did you guys see, anyway? Did you see the Matrix movie?"

From the kitchen, where he was listening, Adam breathed a sigh of relief. Davey sounded angry, but at least he was talking again.

"You saw us at the movies?" Miranda asked in astonishment. "Why didn't you come over and say hello?"

Gordo suddenly threw down his controller and turned off his game. "Why didn't I say hello? Hello! Miranda! There's the girl I like, the girl I'm thinking about asking out, but who hasn't returned my phone calls, and I see her out with some other guy, leaning on his arm, talking, smiling, having a good time…"

What had started as an exclamation of anger ended in a coughing fit. Miranda stared at her friend, shaking her head. "You bozo," she said finally, getting up to hand him a half empty glass of ginger ale.

"Yuk, this is horrible," Gordo said when he could speak again. His throat felt exceptionally sore.

"I'll get you something fresh to drink," Miranda said, standing up.

"I got it!' Adam called from the kitchen. He could hear they were finally getting somewhere and didn't want the flow to be disturbed.

Miranda sat down again. "Are you done freaking out yet, Gordo?" she said. "Are you ready now to hear what really happened?"

"What really happened?" Gordo asked in a small, sore voice.

"Yes! What really happened! Not the crazed imaginings of your over-analytical mind. Do you want to hear the truth?"

Gordo swallowed, even though it was painful. Adam appeared with a fresh glass of ginger ale. He took a sip. "Yes," Gordo said quietly. "I want to hear the truth."

Adam sat down in the recliner. He was also interested in hearing the truth. Neither Gordo nor Miranda seemed to mind that he was there.

"Okay," Miranda said. "This is what happened. Friday afternoon Nicole and I went up to the mall with a group of friends. After a while Eddie showed up too, my new boyfriend. You know Eddie?"

"He's in tenth grade, right? I know him."

"Okay," Miranda said. "So anyway, Eddie brings along his friend Duncan, also in tenth grade. Do you know Duncan?"

"I don't know," Gordo said. "Should I?"

"Well, apparently you've seen him."

"You mean….the guy…"

"Yes," Miranda said. "That was him. What happened was that we all sort of hung out for a while, then as it got later in the afternoon Eddie said why don't we all go see a movie. He and Duncan really wanted to see the Matrix. Nicole kept saying no, she couldn't go see that, because she had more or less promised _Dave_ that she was going to see it with him. In fact, she didn't want to go at all, she told me, because it would be too much like a double date, and she didn't want to date anybody, not even on a double, because the only guy she could possibly even think about these days was _Dave."_

Gordo closed his eyes, feeling calmer and better than he had for several days now. Still, he had to ask, "So then…why did she go?"

"Peer pressure," Miranda answered. "We were all trying to talk her into it. The guys were saying they had heard it was such a complicated movie, you would probably have to see it twice to understand it anyway, so this way she would be one step ahead, and she could still go see it with _Dave._

"I really wanted to stay out with Eddie," Miranda went on, " but he said he wasn't going to leave Duncan flat, and Duncan said he wasn't going to be a third wheel, so if Nicole wouldn't go, he wouldn't go, he would just go home. He laid it on pretty thick. Poor Nicole. What else could she do? On top of all this, she had spent half the day obsessing about why you hadn't called her yet. I think she was starting to feel that maybe it wasn't going to work out between you two---"

"No!" Gordo said.

"Yes, that's what she was thinking."

"Does she still think it?" Gordo asked cautiously.

Miranda sighed deeply. "That poor girl is so confused right now. That's why I called before, to tell you that you need to call her. Right away. You need to keep calling her until you get her on the phone yourself, not leaving messages with any of the scatterbrains in her house. Talk to her, Gordo. Please talk to her."

Gordo sat back, slowly taking this all in through his medicated head.

"She wants you," Miranda said. "I know she does. But this guy Duncan really likes her too, Eddie's telling me now. And Duncan's in tenth grade, and he can be very charming and funny, and you saw what he looks like."

_Tall, _ Gordo thought, smirking. What he said was, "How can I compete with that?"

"Dude!" Adam burst out, unable to keep quiet a moment longer. "I am not going to let you go on doing this to yourself." He got up and went into the hallway, coming back with the portable phone, which he thrust in his cousin's face, saying, "Call her. Now."

"Call her?" Gordo coughed. "I can barely speak."

"It doesn't have to be a long call," Adam said. "Just let her hear your voice. Just tell her you're sick and as soon as you're better you want to see her."

Gordo stared at the phone, still thinking about the tall, charming tenth grader. He didn't have enough strength to reach out and take the phone.

Suddenly Miranda was sitting beside him. Having grabbed the phone in her hands, she was now dialing. "If you don't know the number---"

Gordo grabbed the phone away from Miranda. "I know the number," he said. He hung up on Miranda's dialing, and began the number again. He looked up at both Adam and Miranda, watching him expectantly and said, "Do you mind? How about a little privacy?"

"Miranda," Adam said. "I haven't offered you anything to drink."

"Do you have a coke?"

"Let's go in the kitchen and see."

They left Gordo alone in the living room, dialing Nicole's phone number.


	12. Chapter 12

_Last chapter! Brassai2, I hope you don't mind, I borrowed your "man hug" which I got such a kick out of in your story._

_-_

_-_

Adam reached into the refrigerator and pulled out a can. "Pepsi okay?"

"Sure," Miranda said.

Adam popped open the can and handed it to Miranda. Then he leaned against the kitchen counter and watched her drink. After a moment he said, "Thanks, Miranda, for coming over. I wouldn't have felt comfortable leaving him here like this."

"Why? Where are you going?" Miranda asked.

"Berkeley. I've got to get back to school. I need to leave like…like now," he said, checking his watch.

"You can go, if you need to," Miranda said. "I've got it covered."

But Adam didn't go anywhere just yet. He continued leaning against the kitchen counter, watching Miranda drink her soda. Finally he said, "What is it with Lizzie, anyway?"

"You know about Lizzie?" Miranda questioned, her eyes getting big.

Adam laughed a little. "I know all about Lizzie."

"Then tell me this," Miranda said. "Is Gordo still hung up on her? I mean…after what happened between them..."

"You know about that?"

"I know everything," Miranda said. "Except…except how Gordo feels right now. Is that still an issue?"

Adam thought for a moment, then said, "He's still mad at her. He's still conflicted. But I think it's going to get better. Especially now, with this Nicole in the picture. Is she going to be good for him?"

"Oh, yeah," Miranda said, nodding. "She's going to be very good for him."

"Good," Adam said. "Because he deserves that."

"He does," Miranda agreed simply.

They stood silently for a moment. From the next room they could hear Gordo talking on the phone, but they couldn't make out what he was saying. They happened to look at each other at the same moment, and both smiled.

"Davey's lucky to have a friend like you," Adam said.

Miranda widened her grin. "I know."

Adam laughed. "Davey is definitely in good hands."

-

-

_Oh please, please, please let Nicole answer the phone and not her bratty little brother or senile old grandma, _Gordo thought as he listened to the phone ring once, twice, thrice…._Please, please, pl----_

"Hello?"

"Hi!…Nicole?"

"Dave!" It was her, and she recognized his voice immediately. And she sounded so relieved. "Dave!" she said again.

"Nicole, I tried to call you," he said. "In fact, I called twice---"

"Yes, I know. I just got it out of my brother. I had to bribe him with an offer to do his chores. He wouldn't tell me on his own, the little brat."

Gordo smiled. So she was willing to do her brother's chores, just to find out that he had called? That had to be a good sign.

Gordo coughed, then said, "I…I…I'm sick…"

"I can hear it!" Nicole said. "You don't sound good. Poor baby! Will you be in school tomorrow?"

"Not tomorrow."

"Well, if you need the notes, you can copy mine. Just like you did for me when I was sick. That was so sweet! We could have lunch and I could explain the notes to you…in case you can't read my handwriting or anything."

"Yes, that would be nice," Gordo agreed. "Let's do that."

"Do you think you'll be in school Tuesday?"

"Probably by Tuesday," Gordo agreed, coughing again.

"Poor baby!" Nicole repeated. Gordo felt he should have been annoyed by the way she kept calling him a poor baby, but strangely it made him feel really good.

"Listen," Nicole said. "I'm not going to keep you on the phone while you're sick and all. I just wanted to hear your voice and know you're okay…I mean, know that everything is going to be okay…I mean…"

"It's okay," Gordo said. "I know what you mean."

There was a quiet moment during which they both felt there was so much that needed to be said, yet they both realized it didn't need to be said right now. There would be plenty of time for everything. There was no need to rush.

"Well then," Nicole said. "I hope you feel better, Dave. And I'll see you in class on Tuesday. And I'll have the notes. And I'll save you a seat. Okay?"

"Okay," he said, smiling.

-

-

An hour had passed since Adam first opened the front door for Miranda, and now he had seen her out that same door, closing it behind her. He came back into the living room, and looked at his cousin, still lying on the couch, but appearing less pale.

"Woo!" Adam exclaimed, suddenly shaking his shoulders. "I feel all _tingly _inside!"

Gordo gave Adam a strange look, not because he didn't know what he was talking about, but because he knew precisely what he was talking about. "All tingly inside" was Adam's phrase for explaining his attraction to the opposite sex. It was a phrase Gordo himself had used on occasion. But was Adam really saying this about Miranda?

"Adam," Gordo said plainly. "There's a _legal_ term for what you're thinking."

"I'm not thinking _that,_" Adam said, sounding a little perturbed.

"You'd better not be," Gordo warned.

Adam looked at Gordo, noting the protective tone in his voice, but also noting there was not even a hint of jealousy. He had an idea…

"Well, you know me," Adam said. "I like them dark…and exotic."

Now Gordo gave him an even stranger look. "Miranda? Exotic?"

"Sure!" Adam said. "She's got that Hispanic thing going on with the big brown eyes, and that thick, gorgeous hair…with so many beautiful highlights…"

Gordo almost laughed. "And let's not forget she's fourteen years old…"

"I'm just saying that if I were a fourteen or fifteen year old boy living in this town, I would go for her."

Gordo "_p-shaw_"ed and rolled his eyes at the same time.

"What?" Adam insisted. "I'm not crazy. Miranda's cool. Don't you think she's cool? You should go for her. Why don't you go for her, Davey?"

"Yes, you are crazy!" Gordo replied. "I'm not interested in Miranda like that. She's my friend, one of my best friends. She had been for the longest time. For crying out loud, she's practically----"

Gordo stopped and listened to himself.

"Practically what?" Adam asked, but cousin Davey had rendered himself speechless. So Adam picked up for him. "She's practically a sister to you. Isn't that what you were about to say? The same way Lizzie told you that she thought of you as a brother?"

Gordo crossed his arms, his eyebrows knit together in annoyance. "Shut up," he said.

"No, I won't shut up," Adam said, sitting down on the other couch. "You have to think this through to its logical conclusion, Davey. You can't help the way you feel about Miranda any more than Lizzie can help the way she feels about you. We don't get to pick and choose who we like and who we don't like, who we are attracted to and who we're not. You can't blame someone for that, you can't be mad at them for that. You have to stop being mad at Lizzie for not loving you like that."

"I'm not mad at Lizzie," Gordo said.

"I think you are. Still. A little, anyway. It's okay. I know you were hurt, but you've got to move past it. It will be good for you, and it will be good for her."

"You've been spending too much time with my parents, the psychiatrists," Gordo sighed heavily.

"Maybe. But you know everything I'm saying is true, don't you? You're going to be starting something new now, Davey, with this girl Nicole. This is going to be a beautiful thing. Don't let it be soured by any leftover bad feelings about Lizzie. Forgive and forget. Live and let live."

"Now you sound like a corny self-help book," Gordo said. "Cut it out already! I get the point, okay?"

"Do you?"

Gordo lay back on the couch, taking a deep breath. Hey! He could breath through his nose again! He took another deep breath.

"Yeah," he said. "I get the point."

-

-

A short time later Adam had the car packed and was about to leave. Gordo came outside for the first time in 36 hours, shielding his eyes against the brightness of the sun. His mother wasn't there, so it didn't matter that he was still in his pajamas.

Adam pulled him close in a "man-hug," half hug and half handshake, saying, "Later, dude. It's been real."

"Yeah, it's been real…something," Gordo said. "I'm not sure what. Sorry if I was a a drag on this visit."

"Not at all," Adam said. "It was a blast seeing you in your natural habitat, and meeting some of your friends. Especially Miranda."

"About that," Gordo said. "You were just kidding, right?"

"I tell you what," Adam pondered. "Why don't we revisit this question in about…four years? Okay? You and Miranda will be eighteen by then. You could drive up to Berkeley together to see me graduate. You think?"

-

-

Tuesday in school, Gordo saw Lizzie in the hallway outside his second period History class, like he always did. He had had a lot of time to think over everything that had happened and all the good advice Adam had given him. He remembered how rude he had been to Lizzie the last time they met in this hallway, and he wanted to make amends. So he walked up to her and said, "Hi."

She looked at him cautiously. "Are we talking again, Gordo?" she asked in a small voice. "Because I hope we are. Because I can't stand it when you're mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you, Lizzie. I'm just…sorry about how everything turned out."

"Then…do you think…we can still be friends?" Lizzie asked hopefully.

Gordo hesitated, then nodded. "I think we can be. Sure."

"And maybe sometime we could do some things together, maybe hang out? Like we used to?"

Gordo considered and said, "I don't think anything will every again be like it used to. Maybe someday we might hang out again together. But let's just wait and see about that for a little while…'kay?"

"Because I've been thinking," Lizzie said, hugging her books close to her chest, "and maybe…maybe I was a bit hasty…you really threw me off balance, coming at me like that so soon after Brett. But everything's calmed down now, and when I think about it---"

"Don't," Gordo said. "Don't even go there, Lizzie. I know you feel bad about everything that happened and you want to make it right. You always want to make everything right for everybody, and that's one of the things I love about you. But this is not going to happen. Not now."

"But…" Lizzie said, biting her lip, "But….Gordo, my life's been so weird without you in it."

_Well, whose fault is that?_ Gordo thought, realizing at once that there was still a good deal of bitterness left in him. But it didn't feel as bad as before. It didn't feel insurmountable. He was going to be able to get past this.

Yeah," he said. "I know what you mean. My life's been weird too. Weird. And different. But sometimes different is not always such a bad thing."

The second bell rang and the few students remaining in the hallway appeared to be sucked into their classroom doors. Gordo and Lizzie were alone.

"Listen, " Gordo said. "I'm always going to be your friend, Lizzie, no matter what. You know that, right?"

She nodded, looking down at her books. It seemed she might cry, and Gordo wanted so much to give her a hug and tell her everything was going to be all right, but he wasn't entirely sure he would be able to handle that yet, and anyway, he didn't want to give her the wrong impression.

"Hey," he said gently. "You're going to be late for class. You should get going. I'll see you around. Okay?"

Gordo turned and walked down the hallway towards his classroom. Lizzie stood there for a few more moments, watching him walk away, but he did not look back.

-

-

"Mr. Gordon," Mr. Damion announced the moment Gordo appeared in the doorway. "It appears that you are late, sir."

"I am late," Gordo agreed. "But at least I'm here. And as Ben Franklin once said, 'Better late than never.'"

A light giggling ruffled the classroom.

"Thank you for that tidbit of history," Mr. Damion said dryly. "Now would you please find a seat and join the rest of the class?"

Gordo looked up, searching for Nicole. He saw her in the back of the class, where she usually sat. She was looking directly at him, her green eyes sparkling at him, her mouth set in a cute, crooked grin.

Gordo returned the smile. Her smile leaned to the left, his leaned to the right. Together, they formed one perfect smile.

"Hey…" Gordo whispered as he approached.

Nicole took the books off the empty desk beside her, which she had been saving for him. "Hey, Davey…" she whispered back.

Gordo sat down beside her. If he hadn't been feeling "all tingly inside" before this, he certainly was now. She had called him _Davey. _She had softened his name to that which only his closest family members called him, and it had sounded absolutely natural and unaffected. The fever of his sickness had long since left him, but this tingling sensation increased steadily and pleasantly as Nicole continued to smile at him, scooting her desk a little closer to his.

-

-

_Thus ends this chapter in David Gordon's life. I'm sure there's a lot more that could be written, but that's all I'm going to write for the moment. _

_But my next story will detail another event that takes place the summer after Gordo graduates from high school and will appropriately be called "The Graduate: A David Gordon Story" or something like that. Look for it with an M rating since as the characters get older some moments might earn more of an R rating in a movie rather than a PG13. This new story will be a bit different than anything you've read before, but hopefully I will be able to make you believe it and enjoy it. _

_By the way, thanks to everyone for all their great comments on Love Finds David Gordon. Your encouragement has meant so much to me! _


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